


Blue Thread of Fate

by kamikaze43v3r



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Guilt, M/M, Role Reversal, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamikaze43v3r/pseuds/kamikaze43v3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo is a shingami on patrol in the human world. Feeling bored, he decided to call up a reiraku (spirit thread) search and was surprised to find a blue thread out of all the white. What he didn't expect to find at the end of the the thread was a scowling blue-haired human with deep blue eyes . </p><p>Neither knew what fate had in store for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Life

**Author's Note:**

> From FF.net, also, but I'm fixing some parts of the story, though mostly just the timeline. I've decided to touch on this once again and hopefully complete this eventually. This work was written earlier than Killer Instinct, so my writing may not be as good.

Kurosaki Ichigo was a young man who liked to do what he wanted. He listens to orders most of the time, but sometimes, young men just want to have a little bit of fun while at work. And that was what he did. Only thing is, Kurosaki Ichigo is a shinigami - a death god, a soul reaper – of an otherworld where spirits rest called Soul Society.

He was a talented shinigami – the only one to have so much spiritual power that his shikai remained at its non-sealed state. He was young and new to the shinigami world however, and had much to learn. He was one of the well-known shinigami in the squad, best known for his appearance of bright orange hair and a cleaver-like shikai wrapped in bandages strapped to his back. After graduating from the Shinigami Academy, he had gone almost straight to the 5th seat of the 11th division. And it was a division that was under a violence-obsessed captain who seemed to have a strange liking for him and his strength. Captain Kenpachi was a large, eye-patched man who had his hair in spikes, and had great love for fighting, and with fighting as Ichigo’s main specialty, it wasn’t much surprise that the captain wanted him in his division. Other captains were interested in him as well, from Captain Kurostuchi of the 12th division wanting to use him as an experiment specimen, nobleman Captain Kuchiki of the 6th who seemed to loathe him for befriending his sister-in-law Rukia, to Captain Aizen of the 5th who was always smiling sweetly to everyone but smiling a little bit wider at him than to everyone else.

Anyway, he was sent to the human world for patrol to dispose of any Hollows that would be wandering around and harming innocent souls. But Ichigo was tired of it. It was almost daily for him to take up this post, and hunting Hollows had gotten boring to him, especially since they were so easy to defeat.

And thus one fine day, the young shinigami decided to do a little more than his usual slacking off. Ichigo closed his eyes and visualized the reiraku, spirit threads of the spiritually-aware beings around him. He spotted a red reiraku, probably from another patrolling shinigami, but another reiraku immediately stood out among the white threads. It was a light blue thread. Without thinking, Ichigo reached his hand out and grabbed it. He felt it in his hand, and just stared at it in awe.

"It really is blue... That's not possible, there's no such thing," Ichigo muttered to himself. The only known colours for spirit threads were white, for anything other than that was red for the shinigami. But blue? Ichigo's feet took action out of impulse. He flash stepped towards the direction of where the blue spirit thread led him. It was very far from where he was, but Ichigo noticed, that as he was moving, whatever it was on the end of the thread was moving as well, as if it was running. As if it knew Ichigo had its spirit thread in his hand and chasing after it. Curious, Ichigo flash stepped even faster towards whatever being that owned this blue thread.

Ichigo continued to chase whatever this thing was, and it can run fast. He expected an animal; after all they are more sensitive to spiritual beings than humans. Ichigo took the last few steps he anticipated that would reach this unique being and his eyes widened with a mix of shock and awe when he stepped past the last building and locked eyes on the target.

At the end of the spirit thread was a man with bright blue hair and cobalt eyes. He had a great physique, and Ichigo watched the man in action as he ran. And that was when Ichigo realized the man was running... running away from him!

"Hey, wait!" Ichigo called after the man. The man didn't listen. Could he hear or cannot hear him? He should have, since the spirit thread is proof of his spiritual awareness. Well, unless he's deaf. Ichigo frowned slightly but continued to give chase. With his flash steps, there was no way a human can outrun a shinigami, and he easily appeared before the blue-haired man, stopping him dead in his tracks.

Ichigo finally saw his face and his hard expression softened into a curious one as he took in the handsome features of the man. He was clad in a blue jumpsuit and carried a bag, and was sweating from the running. He also had the deepest scowl Ichigo had ever seen on anyone. But yet, the man remained beautiful in an odd way. Ichigo just stared at him, still with the man's spirit thread in his hand.

"Oi," the man spoke. His voice was low and rough. Ichigo's eyes snapped to his. They were cold, angry and suspicious. But there was no fear in them. "Who or what the hell are you?"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Kurosaki Ichigo," the young orange haired man said. He was covered in black funeral robes, and the only thing that stood out from the deep blackness was his vibrant, orange hair. And it was in a shade that Grimmjow liked. It was... refreshing. But that didn't mean whoever this boy was posed no threat to him, especially with that large thing strapped to his back that was most likely a sword. Furthermore, Grimmjow had learned in his life that one shouldn't judge things by their looks. He gripped the handle of his bag tighter; his tools were inside, he can use them for protection.

"As I said, what are you," Grimmjow repeated.

"A shinigami," the kid replied. Grimmjow felt his features scrunch up further. His forehead was tired from how deep his brows were furrowed.

"What?"

"A shinigami, soul reaper? Death god?" the kid said, like it was the most normal thing to say.

"You're... the ones who send the wandering spirits away," Grimmjow said slowly. He had just realized that this wasn't the first time he'd seen these... things. He had been seeing glimpses of them throughout his life, and once or twice even seen them perform some sort of ritual to wandering spirits. But he had never seen them make contact with any of the living before.

"You can see us, huh..." the shinigami named Ichigo said."Maybe it's because you're that strong that the colour of your soul stood out?" Grimmjow gave him a puzzled look but the kid was looking at that thread in his hand again. Grimmjow felt weird when the kid's hand moved along the thread. Like as if someone was stroking the back of his neck.

"Stop touching that," Grimmjow just said. Ichigo looked up and stared at him. He let go of the thread and it vanished into thin air.

"Why did you run?" he asked suddenly.

"Who wouldn't run if something invisible suddenly strokes your neck, and then it feels like something is pulling at your soul?" Grimmjow growled out. The kid was so naive looking, but aside from that attitude scowl he was putting on. Is he really a shinigami?

"Sorry about that," Ichigo said. He walked towards Grimmjow and the man snarled as he took a step back. Ichigo stopped in his tracks and looked confused at Grimmjow's expression.

"Why are you the only one talking to me? Is it my time to die or something?" Grimmjow asked in a mix of nervousness and anger. He never really liked death; it was almost always around him, and yet now it was right in front of him in the form of an orange haired teenager. It was so surreal. Ichigo stared at him for a moment before he broke into a smirk and snorted to suppress his laughter. The change of expression made Grimmjow blink in surprise, and found himself slipping into what felt like ease at the young man's awkward smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just curious about the thread that's all. You're..." Ichigo looked at him and his smile grew. "Interesting."

Grimmjow cocked his head to the side and shot Ichigo another look. "What the fuck?"

"Hey, you haven't told me your name yet,” the soul reaper said, going past Grimmjow’s surprise as if he didn’t hear it.

"Why the hell should I tell a kid like you?" Grimmjow said and he scooted back. Like hell he was going to let this entity go anywhere near him. Sure the kid appeared to be trying to be friendly, but Grimmjow had grown up to have great distrust in strangers and was getting snappy for some reason.

"I'm not a kid, I'm at least a couple decades older than you," the young shinigami replied. A frown began to tug at the young man’s features and Grimmjow thought it fit him nicely.

“As long as you don’t look like it, I won’t treat you that way,” Grimmjow growled and felt the tension rise between them. The shinigami looked like he was ready to hit him, and it had Grimmjow moving into a defensive stance automatically. He’d had some martial arts training when he was younger, so defending himself was really no big deal. Just that at the moment, his opponent wasn’t exactly tangible or living. The orange-haired shinigami however seemed to notice his movement and stepped back. The frown didn’t leave his face though.

"Tsk, what's your problem," Grimmjow heard him say.

"You are," Grimmjow admitted without thinking, and he almost regretted it.

"I only approached you and you're freaking out like this?"

"Who in their right mind wouldn’t freak the fuck out when what they see as death is standing right in front of them and talking to them?!" Grimmjow told him, not really holding himself back. He felt agitated and confused. The situation was just too surreal. And when Grimmjow gets confused, his first instinct was to get defensive and suspicious. The shinigami didn’t speak but seemed to consider what he said.

“...Right,” the shinigami finally said. “I seemed to have forgotten myself. Sorry about that.” He watched Grimmjow for a moment before continuing. “...I just wanted to know why your reiraku is blue.”

“My what?” Grimmjow asked.

“The thing I was holding on to when I got here,” he replied.

“And what is a reiraku? What does it do?” Grimmjow didn’t know why he was even asking these questions. What did he have to do with any of this anyway?

“It’s just a manifestation of your reiryoku – your spirit power. Everything that has a high reiryoku has a reiraku that leads to them. And everyone of them is white, except for the shinigami, whose reiraku are red. Yours though... is blue,” the young shinigami explained to him.

“Is that bad?” Grimmjow asked. Bad luck had always haunted him.

“I don’t think so, but it’s definitely attention grabbing,” the shinigami said with a smirk as he glanced at Grimmjow’s hair. Grimmjow ran a hand through the blue locks self-consciously with a scowl. He never minded anyone staring at it, but it was just the way the shinigami smirked at it that made him feel a little different.

“And that’s why you approached me? Just to see what this ‘attention grabbing’ reiraku would lead to?” Grimmjow said, his temper building for some reason. “Sorry to disappoint you, shinigami, but I’m just an ordinary guy with an ordinary job and a pretty average, anti-social life. Only thing unordinary about me is my hair colour.”

“You can see us,” the shinigami said simply and that had Grimmjow stare at him like he was the weirdest thing on the planet. Grimmjow had forgotten all about his own spiritual awareness since he was just too used to it. This sixth sense he had that made him so very often the outcast that he was ever since young, aside from the outstanding natural hair colour that he was born with. For as long as he remembered, Grimmjow had had this ability since birth, but only recalled seeing these black robed beings at the age of six.

“I suppose, but it’s brought nothing good into my life,” Grimmjow stated, sounding a bit bitterer than he wanted.

The shinigami wanted to reply, but something loud made a screeching noise and it came from the shinigami’s pocket. “Ah, a hollow’s in the area. I have to take care of it.” He turned his back to Grimmjow and began to take a few steps but stopped. He faced Grimmjow again and said, “I’ll see ya again. There’s lots of things I want to ask.” He gave a lopsided grin and disappeared, leaving Grimmjow both speechless and a little shocked at the abrupt stop to their conversation.

“...That’s what I was supposed to say,” Grimmjow muttered to himself as he stared at the spot where the shinigami had disappeared. The surrealism of what just happened sank in and Grimmjow thought he’d gone crazy. Did that really happen or was he just tripping? Grimmjow tried to clear his head and started to walk.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Ichigo went back to Soul Society after disposing of the Hollow that interrupted his conversation with the blue haired man, and was very pleased and intrigued by the meeting. He went back to his division to report his daily patrol but as usual Captain Kenpachi was hardly interested in such trivial things. So he went off to find a few of his friends with a few questions in mind.

“Oi, Renji!” Ichigo yelled out to the red-haired lieutenant who was just walking along the outer walls of Sereitei. Said man turned and greeted back.

“Yo, Ichigo, what’s up? It’s ‘Vice-captain Abarai’, by the way,” Renji told him with a smug grin. Ichigo rolled his eyes but smirked anyway.

“Whatever,” Ichigo said, though he acknowledged that the man whom he had gone into the academy at the same time had indeed reached lieutenant rank faster than him. But then again, he was with a division that focused on brute strength, and the current lieutenant was a little girl. That must say at least something about his 5th seat rank in comparison to Renji’s. He only smiled gleefully to himself.

“Finished your patrol?” Renji asked.

“Yup, just got back from reporting to Captain Kenpachi. Hey, I wanna ask you something,” Ichigo immediately began. “There are only two colours for reiraku right?”

“Reiraku?” Renji questioned. “Yeah, red for shinigami, white for everything else. Why are you asking that, did you use it recently?”

“Sorta, yeah,” Ichigo replied with a sheepish grin to Renji’s questioning look. “I was bored, so I thought I’d just play with some reiraku or something.”

“And what, you found something interesting?” Renji asked again.

“Yeah, a blue reiraku,” Ichigo told him. Renji looked interested.

“Blue? Are you serious? Did you follow it, see what it led to?”

“He’s just a human with high spiritual awareness, surprisingly,” Ichigo said. “But his hair and eyes were blue. His reiraku was a paler colour to it. And the thing is, he can see us. Or at least, me.”

“He can see shinigami? That isn’t common Ichigo. There are very little humans who can see spirits, much less a shinigami. You might want to report about this,” Renji advised him with folded arms.

“I did, but you know Kenpachi is hardly interested in patrol reports,” Ichigo replied with a slight frown.

“True... and it’s a little hard to get to the other captains not of your division,” Renji muttered and rubbed his chin. “So what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know, if I ever see any of the captains I’ll tell them, but for the moment I think I’ll look it up in the library or something, and maybe just observe him,” Ichigo answered. Renji raised an eyebrow at his last phrase.

“Did you approach him?” Ichigo stopped when Renji asked the question. He had forgotten they weren’t really supposed to make contact with any being, whether they can see them or not. Renji’s tattooed brows furrowed as he took the answer from Ichigo’s expression. “I don’t think you should get too involved, Ichigo.”

“It was only a talk, and it’s not like it’d be much trouble to either side,” Ichigo replied defensively. “Furthermore I’m bored from patrol. Just take it as a hobby.” Renji just frowned at his words but shrugged.

“If that’s what you say, Ichigo,” Renji told him. “Well I’ll be going now, I need to see Captain Kuchiki.”

“Oh, and Renji, don’t tell Rukia about this, please?” Ichigo asked of him and Renji nodded. The small woman was a little too nosy for her own good and might do something that he wouldn’t like, even if she was one of his close friends.

Ichigo then headed for the library for his personal research, where thousands of ancient books were shelved neatly. It was empty, as usual, with only a few other shinigami reading quietly at the tables. He went straight to the librarian and asked for information, and then immediately went to the aisle as directed and browsed through the books. He picked out some thick books and brought them out to lay them on a nearby table.

He flipped through the frayed pages of the first two books and found nothing, but finally found a term in a page of the third thousand-paged book he had picked out. He underlined the bolded word reiraku with his finger and read out loud softly under his breath.

Reiraku are the representation of spiritual power of beings in the form of threads. Red represents the shinigami, while white represents every other being in the human world. Alright, that was the basic, Ichigo thought, and read on.

Other coloured reiraku exist as well, but are extremely rare. They have been reported every few times over a period of a hundred years. The colour represents their soul and their spiritual power, and are said to be as high as or even higher than a Shinigami. They come in the form of animals or humans, but are more common as the latter. In most societies of the living, those who already have spiritual awareness are thought to bring bad luck, while those who have higher power than that are considered to be harbingers of disasters. No wonder he looked so defensive and threatened, Ichigo thought as he remembered the look on the blue-haired man’s face. And there was also the bitterness in the man’s voice that Ichigo had noticed when he mentioned about his life.

They are just vessels of large amounts of spiritual power, and do not have much use for the power they possess. If taught, however, they can harness their power and would be able to affect spiritual beings around them, Shinigami and Hollows included. Hollows included? Wait, Ichigo thought. Does that mean he can see Hollows as well? Ichigo stared back at the book and read the continuing sentence. They are often sought out by those who dabble in spiritual studies and practitioners. However, most of these beings do not live long as they are often killed by the pressure of their own power, or fall victim to wandering Hollows who are often attracted to their power.

“Shit!” Ichigo said out loudly and earning glares from the librarian and other users of the library. But Ichigo ignored it, having already run out of the building and heading to the portal gate, the Senkaimon.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Loud, heavy breathing filled the silent chilly night air as Grimmjow ran as fast as he could. He ran into a narrow pathway, where he ran past trashcans and garbage bags, only for them to be thrown off and ripped up by an invisible force a few seconds later. Grimmjow then ran into a sharp turn where it had hidden spots and took cover there. He stopped and held his breath and listened hard for the creature that was chasing him. It was invisible to the naked eye, but Grimmjow could see its hideous form clearly. It had a large bulky humanoid shape but had a grotesque mask over its face. And there was a large gaping hole through its chest.

This was normal. He had been chased by these things ever since he was able to see those black robed beings that were shinigami. And he had seen them fight these monsters. Grimmjow had, since young, been running and hiding from these things, and most of the time he was successful in losing them. Other times, he wasn’t so lucky. He’d been injured, almost killed by these monsters, and even had some other people injured too. Nobody could tell why he people get injured around him, or why he got bruises and animal-like scratches from unseen forces. That was why people stayed clear of him, and as a child it was uncommon to hear them muttering ‘disaster’ and ‘bad luck’ whenever he was around. Superstitious people were crueller, calling him the devil’s child and even his parents gave up on him. In the end, Grimmjow grew up alone, cynical and stone-hearted.

He also grew up fighting and running. Not just from bullies, but from these monsters as well.

“Where are you....?” the distorted voice of the creature called out, sounding much like a pained moan, and Grimmjow took a sharp intake of breath. He could hear the monster moving, and it was moving closer. He took his chances and darted out of his hiding spot and ducked just as the creature swiped its large, long arm at him.

“Fuck,” Grimmjow muttered when he felt the sharp sting of a cut on his arm from the monster’s attack. He rolled to the side and managed to evade another attack, but this time Grimmjow stepped forward and threw a hard punch at the creature.

“You think you can – urkk!!” The monster wanted to say but was thrown back by the punch that had been thrown at him. The monster rose, and though it had its mask on, Grimmjow could tell it was shocked. A second later, its mask cracked. “Wh-what? How can a human injure me?!”

“Caught ya surprised huh,” Grimmjow merely replied and cracked his knuckles. The mask was hard, almost like rock, but Grimmjow’s knuckles had been hardened by everyday training and experience with these creatures. Almost every day of his life had been a fight for survival from these things. The creature however, wasn’t too swayed by Grimmjow’s show of bravery to stand up to it and it roared. The blue-haired man ignored it and ran forward again, blocking an attack and throwing another punch. It hit and the creature was thrown back once again. Its mask cracked once more, but it appeared as if the cracks were spreading. The monster howled in pain.

“My mask! It hurts!!” the masked creature wailed. Grimmjow just stepped back as he noticed the rising aggression and stuffed his hand into his back pocket and searched for something. The monster meanwhile stopped clutching its mask and turned its attention back to Grimmjow. “You!! I’ll eat you and this power of yours will be all mine!!”

It moved to pounce onto the human, who had taken a pocket knife and had put on a defensive stance, seemingly ready to strike at the approaching creature. “Getsuga Tenshou!!” a familiar voice yelled and a white-blue blast of energy stopped the monster in mid-air, where it shrieked in pain before disintegrating into particles. Grimmjow just stared at it, both mystified and shocked at the sight. He turned to see the orange-haired shinigami from that morning landing on his feet right before him with his large cleaver-like sword unsheathed.

“...What are you doing?” was the first thing Grimmjow asked. The shinigami looked perplexed and blinked at him.

“What do you mean what am I doing? I just saved your ass!” the shinigami said hotly. Grimmjow frowned at him.

“I didn’t ask for your help, shinigami,” Grimmjow replied, getting annoyed by the unwanted help that he got.

“It’s not ‘shinigami’, dammit, it’s Ichigo! Kurosaki Ichigo!” the shinigami said again and he was yelling this time, making Grimmjow a bit more irritated than usual. “And my job is to protect all beings from Hollows!”

“No one protected me when I was being attacked at six years old,” Grimmjow said angrily, almost growling. Pent up anger at that fact, his childhood, his ability and this supposed protector who never did protect him began to fill him and all he wanted was to pour it all out. And it had the shinigami named Ichigo immediately clamming up. “No one could tell why the fuck I had bruises and scars when I got attacked by them. No one understood why others got injured or things get destroyed when they’re around me. No one wanted to be near me just because I talk or look at things they can’t see. No one understood the shit and the horror I saw as a kid when those things fucking ripped up spirits as they ate them. And no one stood by me or even bothered to know me! I’ve fought alone all my goddamned life and what makes you think I need your fucking help now?”

Grimmjow stopped and had to breathe in deeply. His fists were white from clenching them too tight and he could hear his own teeth as he gritted them so hard to keep himself from talking anymore. He didn’t want to remember it again. He gave an ending sigh and covered his face with a hand. “Shit, I need a fucking drink,” he muttered more to himself than to the other.

He took his hand off his face and looked at the shinigami who just had a flat scowl on his face which was pretty much an unreadable expression to him. He wasn’t sure if it was sympathy or annoyance but he just stared at him, and Grimmjow just didn’t want to see the brat’s face at the moment. He walked past the shinigami who just stood still at his position until he finally spoke. “And you want to continue being alone?”

Grimmjow turned back to look at him, and saw that the shinigami held a hardened expression. His eyes however, were as naive as how he looked, but kind, compassionate and sympathetic. Something in Grimmjow churned and it made the blue-haired man look away. How can a spirit, especially a soul reaper, look so much more alive than him? He shrugged and turned back to continue walking without answering. Grimmjow just couldn’t bring himself to say what he wanted.

**\-------------------- Part 1 end ---------------------**


	2. Death

It had been a week since the first day they had met, and though Grimmjow had not answered Ichigo’s question that night, the shinigami was pretty sure he knew the answer. Especially since the man didn’t seem to really mind his presence around him. Ichigo had checked up on him every day ever since, and occasionally had similar hollow attacks. It did appear like it was a common thing for the blue-haired man as he was able to easily outrun or defeat the Hollows that came after him. Ichigo didn’t really need to help; he didn’t want to get in the man’s way or disturb his usual way of life of fighting back the hollows. Ichigo only helped in defeating Hollows that were on their way to him, so that the man wouldn’t really need to fight and also to lighten his burden especially when the man was working. Grimmjow seemed to know what he was doing but he didn’t say anything so Ichigo found no reason to stop the practice.

 

The orange haired shinigami had no idea why he was doing this. He did continue his patrols but can’t help going to where ever the man was, and he just had to watch him. Perhaps it was sympathy, or maybe just curiosity at the man’s different and lonely life. Whatever it was Ichigo couldn’t leave him alone.

 

Ichigo thought the blue-haired man would probably sulk after that night, but instead he had acknowledged him and they talked. They would ask each other questions about each other’s lives, and though Ichigo was genuinely interested and intrigued with human life, Grimmjow on the other hand, seemed detached. Ichigo felt that was just how he was; with hardly any friends and lacking much social skills. But he did have a feeling the man didn’t hate the company as much as he thought he would.

 

“So you’re a foreign mixed blood?” Ichigo asked as he watched Grimmjow work on the car he was fixing. The man worked as a mechanic in his own shop. “I guess that explains the name.”

 

“From what I saw on my birth cert, yeah,” Grimmjow said simply as he tightened the nut with the wrench in his hand.

 

“What’s the place like?” Ichigo asked again.

 

“No idea, never been there,” Grimmjow replied flatly. Ichigo felt thoughtful about it. “And your name?” Ichigo raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know the kanji of your name, so all I think of is strawberries right now.”

 

“Tsk, that’s an old joke...” Ichigo muttered to himself. “It means ‘to protect one thing’.”

 

“And what’s that one thing you’re protecting?” Grimmjow asked, throwing a glance at Ichigo briefly before looking back at the machine. Ichigo opened his mouth, about to say something but managed to hold his tongue. He almost blurted something he wasn’t sure how true it was. He just stared at Grimmjow, quite thankful the man wasn’t looking at him to notice his flushed cheeks.

 

“...I don’t know,” Ichigo lied. The man grunted back in reply. “...So how old are you?” Ichigo asked immediately to change the topic. He also couldn’t help it, he just felt the need to know more about the man. Grimmjow however, looked rather annoyed. Well, he _had_ been asking questions for the past hour, Ichigo told himself. Ichigo held his hands up and gave a gesture that Grimmjow didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to.

 

“Tch, twenty-six,” Grimmjow said grumpily but continued concentrating on his work. “And how old are you, a couple of decades older than me you said?”

 

“I kinda lost count, but yeah it should be at near half a century,” Ichigo told him. He felt very old even though he was still considered young as a shinigami. Twenty-six years in the other world was a young child’s age.

 

“Isn’t it tiring to live that long? You look no different than humans who are still in their teens. What do you do anyway?” Grimmjow asked. This time he stopped his work and focused his attention on Ichigo, who shifted where he sat at the attention he got.

 

“Time is different there. I guess every 5 or 10 years there can feel like about one year here?” Ichigo replied thoughtfully. “And we work, or go to the academy to become a shinigami.”

 

“You need to study to be a shinigami?” Grimmjow asked with a raised brow.

 

“Yeah, is it that surprising?” Ichigo questioned in return, feeling amused by Grimmjow’s sudden interest. The man shrugged in reply.

 

“So it’s like a second life then,” he said. Ichigo thought over it in his mind again.

 

“I guess so, but it takes at least half a century for a sent spirit to be born in the afterlife.”

 

“But that’s only if you die naturally,” Grimmjow said and Ichigo thought for a moment he was talking to himself. “What about those spirits who get eaten by those hollow things?”

 

“Their spirits would merge with the Hollow’s. They can evolve into something very strong from the thousands of souls they’ve eaten,” Ichigo told him in a low voice.

 

“They evolve?” Grimmjow asked in disbelief. “Those things can actually get stronger?”

 

Ichigo nodded grimly, “Hollows are spirits that are evil, due to some grudge, sin, or unfulfilled duty or attachment to the world. Some hollows have such great hatred that eating human souls aren’t enough that they have to evolve by cannibalizing each other. If they keep on eating other hollows without being eaten first, their personality is maintained and they will keep that personality. And the stronger the hollow, the more intelligent they get.”

 

Grimmjow seemed to be listening intently even though he was staring at the car in front of him. He nodded and slowly got back to work. Ichigo wondered what the man was thinking at the moment. “Are you... afraid of getting eaten by them?” Ichigo asked as gently as he could, in order not to provoke the man. But Grimmjow glared at him anyway.

 

“Tch, as if I’d ever fall prey to those ugly sons of bitches,” Grimmjow told him. Ichigo smirked at his reply and shook his head.

 

“I’ve got your back,” Ichigo said and though it was brief and subtle, Ichigo caught the stiffening of Grimmjow’s movement and muscle as he said it. The man didn’t say anything, but just continued to do his work.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

“Oi, Kurosaki,” Grimmjow called. “Stop hiding. I know you’ve been watching for weeks, you stalking freak, it’s annoying.”

 

“I wasn’t stalking!” The orange haired shinigami yelled back as he peered from the wall by the window of Grimmjow’s apartment. He gave a scowl that was accompanied by a light blush but looked away when Grimmjow stared back. Grimmjow just grunted at him, merely taking note how child-like the shinigami really was despite his real age. He turned back to the book he was reading as Ichigo stepped in through the window. Now that Grimmjow had thought about it, it had been almost two months since this strange relationship had begun. Grimmjow wasn’t sure whether to call it friendship, but he supposed it was the nearest thing he could call that. At least the kid talked to him, but for what reason he kept coming back almost every day to talk or just to watch him, Grimmjow had no idea.

 

He said it was his job to protect all beings from Hollows and this was probably part of it since Grimmjow was a common target for those masked creatures. But Grimmjow had made it clear that he didn’t need help, and had been surviving by himself all these years. It was just that question the kid had asked him that he couldn’t answer and will never forget.

 

‘ _And you want to continue being alone?’_ The shinigami probably knew his unspoken reply though, which was why he actually stuck around. But why would he? He could choose not to. Grimmjow often asked himself that question, but the assumptions he usually ended up with were ‘shinigami duty’ or ‘sympathy’.

 

“It’s... pretty cosy,” Ichigo commented as he looked around the house. It was a decent two roomed apartment, with white walls and light blue ceilings. The furniture was rather sparse, but there was at least a sofa, a coffee table and a rather large TV set on top of a dark coloured cabinet in the living room.

 

“It’s comfortable enough,” Grimmjow replied to Ichigo’s statement. A greyish blue cat popped out from under the couch and stretched. It hopped up onto Grimmjow’s lap before it looked at Ichigo’s direction. It wasn’t surprising for Grimmjow to have a pet, since animals do have the ability to see spirits. Grimmjow admitted that he felt some comfort in the similar ability they shared, and he was fonder of cats, and hence, had gotten one.

 

“You must be ‘Pantera’,” Ichigo said as he looked at the cat with a bemused smirk. The kid just proved that he was a stalker somewhat, to have watched him that much to even know his pet cat’s name. Pantera meowed in reply, then curled itself on its master’s lap.

 

Grimmjow rolled his eyes even though they never left the open pages of the book in his hand, “...Was there a Hollow nearby?”

 

“No,” Kurosaki said, and was looking at the small kitchen next to the room they were in.

 

“Then why are you here?” Grimmjow asked and took his eyes off his book to look at the orange haired shinigami. That was when he caught that blush again and the kid looked like he was struggling to think of a reason. He didn’t understand what the young man was so flustered about. “Don’t ya have any friends of your own to hang out with? Or that patrol thing you’re supposed to do whenever you’re in the human world?”

  
“There hasn’t been much Hollow activity lately, and my phone will ring anyway if there’s one nearby, so...” Ichigo shrugged. “And my friends are all back at Soul Society. I see them when I go back.”

 

“So you’re feeling lonely here, huh?” Grimmjow said, wearing a sort of smirk on his face. It was an attempt of a smile and a tease, and Grimmjow felt a little weird doing it. It was his first time in a very long while after all. The shinigami looked pretty shocked by the expression as well and instead of replying Ichigo smiled a smile different from the awkward lopsided grins or teasing smirks he often had aside from his usual scowls. Grimmjow just stared at him, a little dumbstruck by the rare expression that caught him off guard. He thought a scowl suited the boy, but a sincere smile suited him just as nicely, and it gave Grimmjow a strange feeling. He turned back to his book and pretended to continue reading.

 

“Not exactly, I’m just bored,” Grimmjow heard him say, though in a voice that was a little off and from what Grimmjow had learned over the weeks they’ve talked, it was in a voice that meant that he was lying. Grimmjow decided not to pursue it and didn’t say anything else. Their days were often like this. It wasn’t bad – to him, the silence seemed to be common theme between them but both of them seemed, or at least just him, felt quite content with just the other’s presence. It also sort of helped in easing the awkward situations they often seem to have.

 

It was odd to find a soul reaper’s presence comforting, but Kurosaki Ichigo was someone who shone brighter and livelier than any other living being he knew. Grimmjow remembered the shinigami mentioning that the colour of his hair was the same as the colour of his soul. If that were true then it would apply to Ichigo as well. A bright orange that glowed against the darkness of the night and blackness of his shinigami robes, very much like the sun.

 

Grimmjow watched from the corner of his eye, as Ichigo stepped towards him and sat on the couch a seat away. The couch showed no sign of having weight pressed on it and it was a reminder to Grimmjow that the shinigami was a spirit. A very strange, lively spirit. Spirits were intangible, and Grimmjow wondered if spirits could be touched by the living. Hollows were spirits, and he was able to touch them, so would that mean the shinigami would be tangible to him too? Without a thought, Grimmjow reached forward and his fingers grabbed hold of the black cloth of Ichigo’s shihakushou.

 

And indeed, it was solid. He could feel the soft texture of the thin cloth as he rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger. Grimmjow just realised what he was doing and his eyes snapped up to Ichigo’s who just stared at him with a curious face. “What are you doing?” Ichigo asked, and Grimmjow reeled his hand back, a little embarrassed at what he’d done.

 

“Was just wondering if I could actually touch spirits,” Grimmjow told him after straightening himself up. “Never touched any other spiritual being before other than hitting those Hollows.”

 

“Hollows _are_ spirits, you know,” Ichigo replied teasingly and Grimmjow’s lips twitched at what felt like another attempted smile.

 

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Grimmjow said with a roll of his eyes. They ended up staring at each other again but Grimmjow looked away first. He only turned back when he felt a warm hand on his arm. Their eyes met again and this time neither looked away. It was so strange, Grimmjow thought. Spirits weren’t supposed to _feel_ this alive.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Ichigo had never experienced time going by so fast. He had lived at least a couple hundred years, and each day was long and slow to him. But ever since his meeting with Grimmjow, things just seemed to happen so fast. Just talking with the man about trivial things that seemed like only minutes turned out to be hours of his patrol duty and after every end of the day he couldn’t wait for the next morning to come. And what seemed like weeks turned out to be months.

 

Ichigo had learned much about the man. He was rather anti-social, uninterested in people, lonely and kept to himself yet he was also loud-mouthed, crude and appeared angry and grumpy most of the time. He seemed to think quite highly of himself and was proud of his mechanic and fighting skills. He had said that he taught himself fighting by watching action movies, and having gone through years of street fights by bullies and gangs who just hated the very sight of him, helped him cope in putting those copied moves to use. A few times he’d invited Ichigo for a fight, but Ichigo had always declined, saying he can’t or he’d accidently kill him, and that always left the man in a bad mood. Ichigo could just see the little changes in the man. He had taken note of how Grimmjow’s scowls gradually became smug smirks and occasional grins – and even though they looked quite threatening and predatory to a normal person, Ichigo thought they suited the man well.

 

Ichigo also had to admit that he did notice himself having gone to call Grimmjow by his first name instead of ‘hey’ or just ‘you’ – mostly because the man’s surname was just too weird and harder to pronounce, while Grimmjow had gone from calling him ‘shinigami’ to his surname. He still seemed to have that trust issue, but Ichigo didn’t really mind it. For him he had some strange reason to find that having Grimmjow call him by his given name would feel too... intimate.

 

“Hey Ichigo, how’s that guy with the blue hair and reiraku?” Renji asked suddenly when they were both done with their work and were just hanging out. Rukia had tagged along and perked up to the topic; the female shinigami had learned about Ichigo’s ‘secret’ in the human world after suspecting something from his change in behaviour. Then she got the full information from Renji, who could never say no to Rukia. Ichigo thought that it was inevitable for the nosy woman to find out anyway, but was thankful that she didn’t seemed to show any negativity towards his actions. Ichigo, meanwhile, felt heat rise up to his upper body at the description of that certain man and he hoped he wasn’t blushing. But from Renji and Rukia’s expression he’d say he was being painfully obvious.

 

“He’s fine. There isn’t much trouble, just that he’s a target for Hollows quite often,” Ichigo replied as nonchalantly as he could. “He’s actually pretty good, to have lived all his life escaping Hollows and even fighting them.”

 

“He actually fought Hollows?” Rukia piped in a mix of disbelief and amazement. “And I thought only Quincies were able to do that! What does he fight with?”

 

“Mainly his bare hands, but it seems like he can use tools to attack them too,” Ichigo told him. Renji whistled lowly and looked pretty impressed while Rukia’s eyes just lit up with marvel.

 

“Now that’s an interesting human alright,” Renji said. He grinned and Rukia added, “No wonder you’re so interested in him.” Ichigo rolled his eyes and elbowed his male best friend in the ribs and scowled at Rukia, earning a pained yelp and an amused chortle.

 

“Hey, you getting excited like this just proves that you are!” Rukia told him.

 

“Tch, just shut up, both of you,” Ichigo chided and his scowl remained. Grimmjow was indeed interesting. He had first felt curiosity towards the man, then sympathy after hearing a glimpse of his miserable life from the man himself, but as he continued to watch and talk to the man it had changed into something deeper than that. They shared an awkward bond; they had many differences that they often bickered about but they also had many similarities that made it easier for them to understand each other. If they weren’t arguing, they were teasing or talking about things that probably meant nothing.

 

But Grimmjow was a human, and though that day where Grimmjow had made physical contact with him for the first time proved something possible, it wasn’t something Ichigo should think of.

 

“By the way, Ichigo,” Renji suddenly spoke and cutting Ichigo’s train of thought. He sounded serious and that had both Rukia and Ichigo focusing his attention to him. “You’ve noticed the lack of Hollow activity haven’t you? The captains and lieutenants have had a meeting about it. Captain-Commander Yamamoto said something was up in Hueco Mundo – most of the Hollows seem to be staying there quietly and the only Hollows that are wandering about are the freshly transformed ones from Pluses.”

 

“Ah, I heard from Captain Ukitake about that,” Rukia said. “The 12th division are investigating it now.”

 

“I haven’t heard about it but I did notice it. Wonder what’s happening,” Ichigo said thoughtfully.

 

Renji shrugged but continued spilling out information Ichigo wondered where he got from, “From what I heard scouts have been sent there to check what was going on but they have yet to discover anything much other than that the Hollows are just there and most of them are either wandering aimlessly or the bigger ones are feeding off the smaller ones.”

 

“Doesn’t that mean they’re trying to evolve?” Rukia pointed out. “It sounds as if they’re trying to build up the number of higher level Hollows.” Renji nodded grimly while Ichigo shifted uneasily as he listened.

 

“That’s what I thought too. The other vice-captains were talking about it and Hisagi-san told me it had something to do with the human world and the humans. You be careful and take care of yourself and that guy of yours, Ichigo,” Renji said and Ichigo nodded. It sounded like something big was going to happen but he hoped it was all just a false alarm. Though Hollows were bad, they played a part in the spiritual balance of worlds. A lack of their activity meant something disastrous. Especially since Renji had mentioned that they were deliberately staying in their world – Hueco Mundo – to evolve themselves. Ichigo had been a little too pre-occupied with his personal activity to have really noticed and felt rather ashamed of himself.

 

After thinking and reflecting to himself once he separated from his two friends, Ichigo reminded himself that he was a shinigami and that he had responsibilities and duties. He thought about Grimmjow and wondered that he shouldn’t have chosen to stick by the man and watch him too closely. His heart tugged at the thought and Ichigo immediately felt that he can never regret his action of following the blue reiraku to see what was at the end of the thread. He was suddenly filled with a certain emotion that he could vaguely recognise and Ichigo clenched his fist.

 

He shouldn’t have been too involved. He should stop doing what he was doing, especially when something potentially disastrous might happen and he would definitely be needed. Ichigo told himself that over and over again, but something in him told him that it was already a little too late.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

“ _Tenteikuura!_ ” Ichigo awoke with a start when he heard a loud female voice filling the silent night air. Though slightly groggy from sleep, Ichigo shook himself awake, knowing full well that the use of such a kido meant an emergency. “ _Captains, vice-captains, and temporary vice-captains of Gotei 13, please listen carefully. This is the vice-captain Kotetsu Isane of the 4_ _th_ _Division speaking. This emergency transmission is under the authority of Captain Unohana Retsu of the 4_ _th_ _Division and myself, Kotetsu Isane. An emergency has occurred. Can everyone hear me?_ ”

 

Ichigo had gotten up to wash his face quickly, slip into his shikakushou and grab his zanpakutou for standby. He listened intently to the intermission for the incoming information.

 

“ _...Captain Aizen Sousuke of the 5_ _th_ _Division has betrayed the Gotei 13. He is responsible for the murders of all members of the Central 46 Chambers and critically injuring Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro of the 10_ _th_ _Division and vice-captain Hinamori Momo of the 5_ _th_ _Division. Accompanying Aizen Sousuke are Captain Ichimaru Gin of the 3_ _rd_ _Division and Captain Kaname Tousen of the 9_ _th_ _Division. His current location..._ ”

 

Vice-captain Kotetsu continued relaying the information as Ichigo got out of his room and reported to his captain, who was covered in blood and wounds. The vice captain was there as well, a hyperactive little girl with pink hair named Yachiru, along with the 3rd and 4th seat of the Division, Ikkaku and Yumichika. “Oi, Captain! What happened?!” Ichigo asked, still not quite used to the man who could walk around casually with the most lethal looking injuries. The large, eye-patched man was grinning despite the wounds, with Yachiru perched happily on his shoulder.

 

“He fought with Tousen,” Ikkaku told him. “Of course, Captain would have won if that Tousen bastard didn’t retreat to Aizen’s side!”

 

“Enough talk, we better get to the Soukyoku Hill. Kotetsu-san said that was their location,” Yumichika said, and the group began to move quickly, heading to the large rocky hill where executions were performed.

 

“What’s with the sudden betrayal?” Ichigo asked as they were on their way. “What’s his purpose?”

 

“From what Kotetsu-san said, she mentioned something about a ‘hougyoku’. No idea what’s that, but it’s probably something to do with the 12th Division. She also said something about that exiled captain Urahara Kisuke,” Yumichika informed him.

 

“The killing of the central chamber’s probably just to wipe off the obstacles,” Ikkaku said. “That four-eyed bastard got us all fooled with that ugly smile of his.” Ichigo couldn’t agree more. Aizen Sousuke was a bespectacled man who was always smiling and had a sweet and gentle face, but Ichigo never trusted him ever since he first met him in the Academy. He had always thought that something was off with him, and this event had just proved it. He never liked the other two captains either.

 

“Does this have something to do with the lack of Hollow activity?” Ichigo asked. Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at each other briefly.

  
“It probably does.” And from that answer, Ichigo felt a chill run down his spine, and his thoughts of concern immediately went to a blue-haired man.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

“Shit, shit, what the fuck?!” Grimmjow cursed to himself as he ran, harder than he ever had in his life. How many were there? Three, four? Fuck no, there were _six_ of them. What the hell was happening? There hadn’t been much activity from them as Kurosaki had said and now suddenly six of them were unleashed and he was their target. _What the fuck_.

 

Grimmjow did his usual tactic of running through narrow pathways and sharp corners, but that worked for one opponent. With six of them with speeds faster than a human and coming from all directions, Grimmjow had to admit, there wasn’t much chance of escape.

 

He continued running wherever the path and his instincts brought him, but he could only go so far before he met with a dead end beside an abandoned construction site and he felt the presences of the Hollows behind him. But one of them was different from the other Hollows in the pack, and appeared to be the leader. It was larger and bulkier with a large gaping hole through its body as usual, but it had a body shape that was more similar to a human and its mask was different. Unlike the others in the group, it was the only one to have its mask showing part of its human face.

 

“You have nowhere to go,” the leader said sinisterly. Was this what Ichigo was saying? An evolved Hollow? Grimmjow wondered to himself.

 

“No shit, that’s why I stopped,” Grimmjow shot back and the partial masked Hollow cackled. Apparently it seemed to have earned a sense of humour.

 

“You’re an interesting one, but it’s too bad we have to kill you,” it said. Grimmjow stepped back slowly but got what he said.

 

“You ‘have’ to kill me? You were ordered by someone?!” Grimmjow yelled. Who wanted him dead? And had the power to order these monsters around?

 

“It doesn’t matter, because you’re going to - ” the leader spoke but was cut short when a broken wooden pole was thrown at its subordinate with great force, causing it to pierce through its body. It wasn’t enough to kill it though, but it sent the Hollow screaming. It tore the pole out of its body and shrieked at Grimmjow, who took up another broken pole from the side of the wall, where some of the abandoned construction material lay.

 

“I’ll kill you for that!” the injured one shrieked but the leader stopped him first.

 

Grimmjow shrugged at the threat, too occupied in thinking out a plan for the situation. A one-on-one fight with a Hollow was not much of a trouble for him, but now there were six. And these ones were different. They were faster, more intelligent and used tactics. Grimmjow knew his chances of survival were low. But that wouldn’t change what he would do. Grimmjow was going to fight all the way to the end. He’d destroy every one of them, he resolved to himself.

 

An image of a bright orange haired person flickered in his mind for a second. Grimmjow’s lips twitched into a brief smile at the thought. Figures he'd think about him at a moment like this. He held his weapon in front of him as a taunting gesture to the Hollows, “As if I’ll ever get killed by you ugly motherfuckers. Come and try me.” And with that, both sides roared, and all six hollows lunged at the lone human.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Ichigo flash-stepped through the rooftops of Karakura, seeking out for Grimmjow. After the betrayal of Aizen, the man and his subordinates had escaped to Hueco Mundo with negacion. The man was a lunatic – he wanted to ‘go higher’, to be a god, and the Hougyoku - that small orb in his hand - was to play a part in it. Aizen had said that it had the power to bestow shinigami powers upon a Hollow, as the vice versa had already been achieved before. That orb was the key to that power of manipulation of a being. But with the powers he already had that he had displayed at the hill, by taking out a number of captains and even being able to control Hueco Mundo, Ichigo thought that was possible. The very thought of it chilled him.

  
Aizen said, “Shinigami and Hollows aren’t the only beings in this universe. It would be arrogant to think of us as the only ones who are important. Humans too, play a great part. They’re interesting creatures, weak and powerless, but definitely interesting... especially some of them.” And when he had said that, his eyes moved to Ichigo’s and the young man felt as if the man knew. About Grimmjow. That was when Ichigo had gone straight to the human world despite his friends' calling out to him to stop. Ichigo had to seek Grimmjow out. He had to check whether he was safe. He _needed_ the man to be safe.

 

But right now, Ichigo couldn’t even sense his presence, or his reiryoku. Even his reiraku was absent. Ichigo grew extremely worried. He continued to flash step from building after building until he finally felt a trace of that familiar reiryoku by some rundown houses. It was faint – almost too faint, as if it was just a footprint of something that had left completely. Ichigo felt his heart quicken as fear crept into his whole being and flash stepped to the strongest point of where Grimmjow’s reiryoku was.

 

Ichigo landed on the empty road. The night sky had turned darker, with heavy clouds hanging overhead. It only took Ichigo a few steps before the rain had begun to pour heavily but Ichigo didn’t care about getting soaked. Where was Grimmjow? Where...? Ichigo ran and ran...

 

... He finally stopped to a dead end by an abandoned construction site. At the end of the lane was a dark mass lying still. Ichigo stepped slowly towards it, his feet suddenly beginning to feel heavy.

 

Broken wooden poles lay scattered about, some smashed into tiny splinters.

 

The walls were crumbled, as if a wrecking ball had gone through it. Even the nearby lamppost was crushed, bits of broken glass surrounding it.

 

The rain was slowly washing away the blood that had splattered all over the area.

 

It was a sight of destruction.

 

Grimmjow’s eyes were half-lidded, his blue eyes staring up at the sky. They were empty. Even his usual bright hair had faded under the rain and the loss of life.

 

Bruises and scratches typical of a Hollow attack on a human littered his body. The attacks were deeper, more brutal and aggressive than usual. But Grimmjow didn’t die of these wounds.

 

His soul was devoured, leaving an empty, broken shell.

 

Grimmjow had been fighting for so long, and he had seemed so sure and confident that he could get through his life like that. So sure he could go on and even if he wasn't optimistic, Grimmjow continued to fight to live even though he had no one. He lived for himself. Was there anyone who would mourn the loss of this man's life? What would happen to his things; were there enough memories of this man left in this world? Ichigo had thought he'd at least be there for him. He thought he could be that one person Grimmjow would have to turn to, even if they weren't close. Instead, things had come to this.

 

He'd met his end and he had died alone, and it was Ichigo's fault for not being with him.

 

Ichigo lowered his head, body trembling with emotion but he said nothing. He clenched his fists so tight his knuckles were white.

 

For a very long moment, the shinigami stood silently in the pouring rain by the lifeless body of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.

 

**\-------------------- Part 2 end ---------------------**


	3. Rebirth

Fifty years had passed since the betrayal of Aizen and Grimmjow’s death. Ichigo had risen to the ranks of a captain, having attained Bankai and was automatically listed into the Captain Proficiency Exam. He passed it without any problems and was made to take the empty slot of the 5th division, whose former captain was the traitor Aizen Sousuke. Ichigo didn’t mind it, but had thought that Lily of the Valley flower insignia of the division was probably mocking him in some way.

 

It symbolized ‘sacrifice, danger, pure love’. Each word only reminded Ichigo of _him_. The young captain shook his head slightly as he attempted to forget once again, and put on his haori before he made his way to the captains’ meeting.

 

Ichigo had gotten over Grimmjow’s death. Or at least, he had willed himself to think that he had. Shinigami, having extended life spans, could feel that a few years were just a few months. And thus the fifty years were probably still not enough time for Ichigo to forget about the scene he had come across that night. It was etched in his memory. The faded blue hair that was covered in blood, and the empty lifeless eyes that were once filled with the passion to keep on fighting and living...

 

Ichigo shoved the images of that night away from his mind the moment he stepped into the meeting room. All the other captains were there and they were still of the same line-up. Ichigo was the newest addition. The elderly Captain Commander Yamamoto stood at the end of the two rows of captains where Ichigo quickly stood where he was supposed to.

 

“If you haven’t heard,” the Captain Commander began, voice rough and gravelly, but had a tone that commanded respect. “Aizen Sousuke has begun to make his move.” Nobody spoke and waited for the man to continue speaking. Ichigo just fidgeted a little uncomfortably at the mention of the traitor. It had been a while since he heard that name, but every time someone mentioned it, he'd be restless and uncomfortable. He felt anger bubble slowly inside him at the thought of what the man had done. “From the half of the century since he has defected, we have not been able to enter Hueco Mundo. But what we believe is that he has been gathering and evolving an army of Hollows. Possibly Vasto Lordes, even.”

 

Despite the mention of very rare yet powerful hollows, the captains did not speak, but Ichigo could still see they were disturbed. The elderly captain continued.

 

“Ever since he has had his hands on the Hougyoku – an object of power made by the exiled Urahara Kisuke – we are to face the possibilities of him having made an army of hollows that can be even more powerful than we expect.”

 

Ichigo wasn’t scared, but he was a little nervous. He had only been a captain not too long ago, and now he might have to lead his men to war? With such powerful hollows? And they have yet to learn what results in using the Hougyoku. Confiscated reports of the exiled 12th division captain had said that he had the most knowledge on ‘hollowfication’, where a shinigami acquires a hollow’s powers. The man had researched in secrecy, and had probably done some experiments involving shinigami subjects that had led him to exile. Well, hollowfication in itself was a crime great enough for execution. Ichigo wondered how the man escaped that punishment and had gotten away with his life, a hundred years ago.

 

“If the Hougyoku is able to allow shinigami to acquire hollow powers, we are to expect the same for the opposite,” the bearded old man said. Ichigo noticed Captain Ukitake and Kyouraku flicking their eyes at each other at the sentence, as if they knew something. “After much discussion and investigation from the murders in Central 46 Chambers and the history records in the Library, we have learned of Aizen’s true objective.”

 

Ichigo awaited the continuation nervously, though he tried to humour himself by pointing out how dramatic this whole thing was. Ichigo didn't expect what was said next though.

 

“The Royal Key.”

 

At that moment, a few captains were murmuring with each other. “Is he planning to kill the king?” Ichigo asked out loud. The key would unlock the space where the royal palace of the Reiou – the Spirit King – was situated at. This was a grim situation.

 

“Probably.  But the main issue now, is that he isn’t trying to locate the key. He is trying to create it,” the Captain Commander replied. The captains had gone silent and was back to listening intently. “The problem lies with the materials he needs to create it – 100 000 human souls, and a 4km spirit radius of Juureichi that indicates a singular spiritual point in the human world.”

 

“And that is?” Somebody said impatiently, but Ichigo didn’t care who. He already had a feeling where it was.

 

“Karakura Town.” Ichigo closed his eyes and contained himself. First the person he cared for, and now the whole place, the whole town that held memories of him? Ichigo seethed silently.

 

Ichigo could hardly pay attention to the meeting anymore, but at least got to catch that they were to stop it with all their strength. The war would begin in four months, something about Aizen preparing the Hougyoku before he could use it, but Ichigo didn’t care. In these four months he’d prepare himself too, and he’d kill that bastard.

 

“Captain Kurosaki Ichigo.” Ichigo looked up to the old man’s call.

 

“Yes sir?”

 

“I would like you to go to the human world,” the elderly man said, and Ichigo’s eyes widened with mixed emotion. “I want you to seek out Urahara Kisuke, and negotiate with him for an alliance to work with us.”

 

“...Yes, sir,” Ichigo replied, and wondered why the old man chose him out of all the others.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Ichigo stepped out of the Senkaimon, accompanied by a Hell Butterfly. The spiritual insect fluttered away as Ichigo walked slowly along the empty corridor among the familiar background of apartments. Ichigo thought he’d visit the area where Grimmjow’s apartment was before he would go look for that Urahara, and then thought that, _yeah_ , he probably could never let go. Especially with the guilt he carried ever since that night.

 

Ichigo stopped in his tracks when he faced a different building. But, he thought, this was where Grimmjow’s apartment building used to be. He then remembered that it had been fifty years after all, and he gave a sad smile to his realization. Humans advanced so fast. Could they forget something as easily and fast as well? Ichigo wondered. He just looked at the building in front of him with a sense of nostalgia, until somebody spoke from behind him.

 

“Oya, what do I see here?” Ichigo whipped around, feeling that the voice was directed at him. It was a man with a green-striped bucket hat accompanied by traditional dark green wear with wooden clogs. His eyes were shadowed by his hat, giving him a shady look, and in his hand he held a foldable fan that he covered the bottom half of his face with. Ichigo regarded him with a suspicious look, but the man showed no hostility. The man would have looked like an eccentric but otherwise normal human if he wasn’t looking directly at Ichigo.

 

“And you are...?”

 

“The man you’ve been looking for, Urahara Kisuke,” the man smiled. He didn’t look like anything Ichigo had expected of an exiled criminal. And Ichigo was surprised to have the man find him instead of the other way round.

 

“How did you know about the Gotei looking for you?” Ichigo asked.

 

“I have my means, newly appointed 5th Division Captain Kurosaki Ichigo-san,” the man said. Ichigo only raised his brow with interest, but didn’t bother to pursue the matter further. “I’m curious to know why you’re so interested in this building, if I may ask.” Ichigo frowned at him.

 

“It just holds some memories,” Ichigo said slowly. Urahara took that answer with a nod. “...Since you knew about me coming here, does that mean you know the reason as well?”

 

Urahara turned to him with another smile that reminded him of Aizen, but it wasn’t sinister. It was just that they both gave him a certain level of feeling that was similar. Ichigo wasn’t sure to trust the man or not, but he decided to keep his guard up at all times at least. “Let’s not talk here, we’ll be more comfortable talking at my shop,” Urahara said and led the way.

They ended up at a small shop that was situated at a corner. The sign on it read ‘Urahara Shoten’ and as the apparent shopkeeper slid open the entrance door Ichigo could see rows of candies. Why candies? Ichigo thought in amusement. He entered the shop and was greeted by a little girl with double ponytails and a constant sad expression, and a rowdy boy with reddish hair. A tall, muscular man in a t-shirt and an apron stood at the end of the room with a tray of tea at the ready, as if he had anticipated their arrival. His rectangular glasses framed his stern eyes and his thick moustache wiggled as he opened his mouth to greet the two, “Welcome back, manager.”

 

“Thank you Tessai!” Urahara replied chirpily and turned to Ichigo. “Please come in, come in!” He led Ichigo into a guest room where a short table was and had seating cushions by it. Ichigo kept quiet, both amused and annoyed by the man’s unnaturally happy behaviour but followed him anyway. The two kids watched them nosily, but did not enter the room they were in, where the moustached man slid the door close. He set down the tea and sat on the floor right behind Urahara who was still smiling. “Now that we’re here, we can talk.”

 

“Aizen is going to destroy Karakura Town to create the Royal Key,” Ichigo said, straight to the point. He waited for the other man’s reaction, but did not get any more than a slight drop in his smile. Urahara set his fan down on the table.

 

“Yes, I am aware of that.”

 

“So would you help us?” Ichigo asked. Urahara rubbed his chin in a mock act of thinking.

 

“I won’t help the Gotei 13,” Urahara said and raised his hand when Ichigo wanted to speak. “But I’d like to help you, Kurosaki-san.”

 

“Excuse me?” Ichigo stared at him with a puzzled frown. Urahara leaned forward and a smirk returned to his lips.

 

“We are... a little similar,” Urahara began. “We have an attachment to this world. Though I am not saying that the Gotei are ruthless people who actually do not care about the 100 000 souls inhabiting this town, I do believe that they are doing it more out of duty. I would rather help someone with a bit more... compassion.”

 

“And that’s supposed to be me? Just because I said I had memories stuck in this place?” Ichigo’s temper was rising for some reason. Perhaps it was because they were treading close to a certain subject.

 

Urahara gave him another smile but it was a little different – a knowing yet sympathetic one. “I can see in your eyes it meant a lot more to you. And that something is driving you to seek vengeance against Aizen himself.” Ichigo kept his lips sealed tight in a deep frown, and felt his brows furrow together so hard his facial muscles ached.

 

“But look at the bright side,” Urahara said again, taking a lighter tone this time. “You’re part of the Gotei 13. If I help you, it means I’m helping them as well, so you have nothing to worry about when you report back to old Yamamoto.” Ichigo nodded slightly in agreement.

 

“... I suppose you’re right,” Ichigo replied. And that was it; his mission was just to acquire the co-operation of the exiled captain.  He began to move to leave but Urahara stopped him with a question.

 

“Kurosaki-san, I would like to ask, why is your zanpakutou still in its shikai form?” Ichigo was caught off-guard by the sudden question. He hadn’t been asked that question in a long time that he forgot about how different it was compared to the others.

 

“I think somebody said something about me having a very large amount of reiatsu?” Ichigo replied, asking himself whether that was what was really said. “No matter what, Zangetsu doesn’t return to his katana form.” Urahara looked very interested at his reply.

  
“I see... thank you, Kurosaki-san,” the shopkeeper said.  Ichigo took a sip of the given tea before he bowed to the man in thanks before standing up. “Gramps will contact you whenever needed. And thanks for the tea.” He nodded to the burly man behind Urahara, who returned the nod. Tessai, as he was called by Urahara, stood up and opened the door for Ichigo, allowing the young man to walk out. The two children were still staring at him as he walked out. “You may visit us anytime, Kurosaki-san! I’ve got lots of goods to share!”

 

Urahara watched the young captain walk away, with his fan covering the lower half of his face as usual. His expression darkened slightly but he held the smirk on his face. “What do you think, Tessai? With an amount of power like that, I don’t think Kurosaki-san needs the Hougyoku at all.”

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

A couple of weeks passed since the confirmation of cooperation from Urahara Kisuke. Ichigo had been going in and out of the human world to act as the mediator for Gotei 13 and the exiled captain.  He had gotten familiar with the town once again, and remembered every step he’d taken fifty years before. Of course, it meant that he had to remember every memory of him too. Not that he’d ever forget, but to relive the memory of someone who had passed would always be a mix of joy and sorrow. To bury it all back, he had taken up Urahara’s offer of training him in his own unique way, and was glad he did because he actually learned a lot despite already a captain himself.

 

For the training, he met another exiled captain that he had heard of, the royal blooded legendary Goddess of Flash Shihouin Yoruichi who was once the 2nd Division captain and head of the Onmitsukido, the Special Forces. She was a slender dark-skinned woman with dark purple hair and golden eyes, and she did fit the image of royalty. The two of them seemed very close, and the woman had both a very authoritative yet fun and easy-going aura that surrounded her and she earned Ichigo’s respect immediately. Ichigo never understood how such nice people could be exiled criminals and had one day asked Urahara about it. The man looked at him with a mildly surprised look, but didn’t seem to have any negative reaction towards it at all.

 

“Well, who else could send a handsome, perverted shopkeeper like me into exile but the man we are preparing to stop in a few months from now?” Urahara said as he fanned himself with that paper fan he always seemed to have with him.

 

“Aizen again? Looks as if he’s planned everything from the start... but if that were so how did you end up in exile?”

 

“As you’ve said, he got it all planned out,” Urahara replied with a smaller smile. The man then shrugged with a smug smirk. “He ‘s just jealous that he couldn’t create an amazing thing like my Hougyoku.” Ichigo couldn’t help but feel amused at the man’s humour, but the mention of the orb had him thinking.

 

“So this Hougyoku of yours,” Ichigo began. “Can really give Shinigami Hollow abilities? And the other way around too?”

 

“It’s is not about giving one being the other’s powers, but it is simply to dissolve the line between them,” Urahara explained. “Though it’s still a powerful tool, I didn’t get to perfect it when they arrested me and confiscated it, so up until now, I’d say the Hougyoku is still incomplete.”

 

“And have you perfected it now?” Ichigo asked with a raised brow. Urahara merely gave him a smile. “Right... but I heard about human experiments being involved.”

 

“That’s Aizen talking again, but it’s not entirely false,” Urahara admitted. “But to know what I mean by that, you will wait and see what I mean.” Urahara left it at that.

 

It was nearing a month since then, and Ichigo was in Seireitei, hanging out with Rukia and Renji. They were talking about a particular shopkeeper who sold candies being Ichigo’s personal mentor. The two of them had accompanied Ichigo to the shop before and had met the man under the cover of assisting Ichigo in his usual ‘mediation’ efforts. They were now well acquainted with each other, and were fond of being guinea pigs to the man’s unusual inventions just for kicks whenever they weren’t training or preparing for the coming war.

 

“You should know Karakura like the palm of your hand now, right?” Renji asked.

 

“I guess I’m reaching there,” Ichigo replied with a grin. “When I’m bored as usual, I’d go exploring, so next time I’ll take you guys there.” His two friends seemed excited and they laughed and cracked jokes again.

 

“Ah but compared to the fifty years ago you were there, the whole town has completely changed hasn’t it?” Renji asked and Ichigo seemed to stiffen at the mention of the fifty years but it was only for a brief moment. The two of them noticed but said nothing, only that Rukia was glaring at the tattooed vice-captain who gave a sheepish, apologetic look.

  
“Yeah it has changed a lot, everything, everywhere,” Ichigo replied normally, but the choice of words definitely meant something. The atmosphere among the trio changed into an awkward one but Renji was trying to continue the conversation when a Hell Butterfly came fluttering to their group and interrupted their get-together.

 

An order from the Commander came from the black winged insect, “Captain Kurosaki, there is an emergency in the human world. As you are in-charge as mediator between that world and ours, you are to go there and investigate a unique Hollow activity that has just begun.”

 

“Yes sir,” Ichigo said and immediately stood up. But the old man’s voice continued talking.

 

“Vice-captain Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Rukia, you will follow and assist Captain Kurosaki. Ikkaku and Ayasegawa of the 11th division, and Captain Hitsugaya and his vice-captain Matsumoto of the 10th will be there to assist you as well. The report from the 12th division warned of extremely high reiatsu and the recommendation to practice caution. Now go!”

 

“Sir!” the trio replied and immediately headed for the Senkaimon, which would bring them to the human world.

 

They were in Karakura Town within minutes; it was night time. There was no sense of chaos or unknown reiatsu for that matter. But the youngest captain of the Gotei 13 was there, looking grumpy as usual with his ample bosomed vice-captain. Rangiku was teasing her captain as usual, and Hitsugaya merely scowled and ignored her, while Ikkaku and Yumichika immediately greeted him upon his arrival. “Oi Ichigo! Renji and Kuchiki too! It’s been a while!”

 

“Ah, Ikkaku, Yumichika,” the orange-haired captain greeted back with a raise of his hand. He turned to the 10th division and greeted them as well. “Yo, Toshiro, Rangiku-san!” Hitsugaya glared at him.

 

“I told you countless times, Kurosaki, call me ‘Captain Hitsugaya’,” the young captain grumbled. Rangiku only teased him further for his reaction. Renji and Rukia went to entertain them while Ichigo turned back to his former superiors.

 

“Yeah, it has. Been busy with the assignment Yama-jii gave me. How’s Kenpachi?”

 

“Oi, oi, just because you’re a captain now doesn’t mean you can forget respecting him!” Ikkaku scolded him but was grinning. Ichigo replied him with the same expression, and was about to retort when a burst of unfamiliar reiatsu took them by surprise.

 

“What was that?” Renji said, already in his defensive mode.

 

“Is this a Hollow’s reiatsu?” Rangiku asked in disbelief.

  
“It’s... so strong!” Rukia gasped. Indeed it was. It took all of their breaths away momentarily when the burst of reiatsu went through them.

  
“There’s six of them,” Hitsugaya stated, expression turning calculative. Ikkaku was looking excited while Yumichika took on a reserved expression. Ichigo felt a sense of recognition slip in for some reason when he skimmed through the six different reiatsu. They were gathered together at a certain point, but then they seemed to disperse. The young captain began to order, “Each of you, take on one of them! As the Commander has said, don’t underestimate their strength!”

 

With that the group too dispersed, each of them heading towards a different entity that was headed into different corners of the town. Ichigo just rushed towards the one body that had the familiar reiatsu emanating from it. And as the nearer he got to it, the faster his heart beats. Yet Ichigo didn’t know why. He suddenly lost track of the reiatsu, thus losing the location of where the possible Hollow had went. Ichigo landed on the streets below and looked around. _This is the place where Grimmjow was killed_ , Ichigo realized, and only took a few steps before a sudden powerful burst of reiatsu exploded around him once again, but this time it was much stronger than the initial burst. It even had Ichigo breaking into cold sweat.

  
Yet the sense of familiarity with this hostile reiatsu continued to grow to the point where Ichigo couldn’t deny it anymore. As he looked up, a white clad figure descended from the sky slowly. Ichigo immediately took in the nostalgic shade of light blue hair and the shock of cobalt eyes that were now lined with teal markings.

 

Grimmjow was standing right before him with that predatory grin he used to wear.

 

Only difference was, the man now had a broken piece of jaw-like mask on the right side of his cheek and a gaping hole through his stomach.

**\-------------------- Part 3 end ---------------------**

 


	4. Chapter 4

_‘Grimmjow... It’s him isn’t it? But it can’t be. He’s dead. I saw him. I saw his body.  But now...’_ Ichigo’s mind was racing. He stared wide-eyed at the gaping hole through the stomach of the blue-haired man who just stood there watching him with a predatory grin. He took a step forward and Ichigo’s eyes snapped up to Grimmjow’s – they were different now. They were cold and cruel, and silently taunting Ichigo as their eyes met. ‘ _This... isn’t Grimmjow. He's a **Hollow**.’_

 

Grimmjow suddenly disappeared with a buzzing sound and Ichigo immediately unsheathed his sword to swing it behind him, where Grimmjow reappeared with another buzz. Ichigo thought the blade hit him, but instead, he saw that it was stopped by Grimmjow’s forearm. Taking advantage of Ichigo’s shock, he took the sharp side with his bare hand and threw Ichigo across to the other side.

 

‘What the hell was that?’ Ichigo thought, ‘Taking a swing from Zangetsu with only his bare arms?! Even Kenpachi can’t take it without bleeding!’

 

“Why so surprised, Shinigami?” Grimmjow said. “This is only our hierro. It just proves how weak your zanpakutou is to not even cut past my skin armour. Now why not you don’t waste my time and bring out your bankai!”

 

Ichigo glared at him, emotions conflicted and mind swimming with thoughts as he grit his teeth. In the background he could sense his friends fighting; some of them were already injured. He’d have to hurry up and finish the fight if he wanted to help them out. He got his attention back to Grimmjow who seemed to look both impatient and bored. Without further ado, Ichigo brought his sword before him and chanted, “Bankai!” Light engulfed him and Grimmjow merely looked mildly intrigued.

 

“Is that your Bankai? Quite flashy, isn’t it?” Grimmjow taunted at Ichigo’s changed look. Ichigo’s standard shihakushou had transformed into a sleeker version; he wore a long black coat with red inner lining and torn ends, and his sleeves were longer and followed the shape of his arms. His cleaver-like zanpakutou had transformed into a longer version of a katana that was completely black and had a broken chain at the end. Grimmjow didn’t move but just stood where he was with that arrogant grin while he waited for Ichigo to take his first step. Still not thinking clearly, Ichigo took his chances and did, flash-stepping towards him and slashing his sword at the man. Much to his surprise, Grimmjow could catch up to his speed, evading or blocking his attacks with his arms easily before he countered with a hard kick to his gut that sent Ichigo to the ground.

 

Their fight escalated into the skies, where they fought in a battle that Ichigo knew he was losing. Grimmjow caught up with all of his attacks and sent mere punches and kicks his way that could break through Ichigo’s defences. Ichigo was getting beaten down but he didn’t stop – _couldn’t_ stop – fighting. Grimmjow being the way he was now was Ichigo’s responsibility and his fault. His soul wouldn’t have been eaten by Hollows and have descended into this state if he had been there that night.

 

“Tch, this thing’s a Bankai?!” Ichigo immediately looked at him as he fought to catch his breath. He noticed that his vision had gotten blurry, and finally felt blood running down his face. Grimmjow looked pissed and was glaring down at him. “You disappoint me, Shinigami! All your bankai did was to increase your speed?! Is that it!?” Ichigo just realized that he hadn’t put himself into the fight. How could he when the enemy had the image of someone he cared so much for? That night was all his fault. Ichigo killed him by not being there. He promised to protect him, but he didn’t. Grimmjow fought alone in vain, powerlessly against –

 

The sudden numbness that took over him caught Ichigo off guard and he choked on the taste of iron in his mouth. He saw his own blood splatter from him before he could register the blue and the buzzing sound that accompanied it. Grimmjow stood before him, his arm stretched out and holding a zanpakutou. The hilt was light blue, and had the shape of a slanted, angular ‘S’. Ichigo’s eyes slowly looked to where the blade ended.

 

It was right through his chest.

 

‘A... zanpakutou? How did I not notice that earlier?!’ Ichigo thought weakly. He had been concentrating on Grimmjow’s hand-to-hand combat attacks that the zanpakutou tucked by his sash was left unnoticeable. Now that he saw it, did that mean that Grimmjow was the result of Aizen’s work with the Hougyoku? For a Hollow to have a Shinigami’s powers, which is in other words, the zanpakutou. _‘An  Arrancar, a Hollow ripped of its mask and have attained Shinigami abilities .. Fate must really be playing with me right now,_ ’ Ichigo thought humourlessly as his vision began to swim.

 

Ichigo’s initial shock faded and pain came to him like a bullet train crashing into his body. Ichigo’s vision threatened to black out, and he could hardly breathe without choking on blood and pain.

 

“Disappointing,” he heard Grimmjow say. His voice was low, growling, and was laced with contempt. Ichigo managed to look up, meeting the arrancar’s eyes. They were blue, cold, and empty aside from anger, hate and cruelty. Did he die feeling that way? Cursing Ichigo for breaking his promise? Ichigo wondered. He wanted to apologize so badly. "You're weak."

 

Ichigo supposed he is. He couldn’t even protect Grimmjow from Hollows. His actions betrayed his namesake, Ichigo realized as he started to lose his sense of sight. The Shinigami moved his hand to reach out blindly from instinct, but he could hardly feel his own body movements which were slowing from loss of blood At least he felt Grimmjow’s hand under his fingertips, and that made Ichigo smile.

 

Grimmjow was still warm, even though he was supposed to be dead and a Hollow. That warmth comforted Ichigo, and with the last glimpse of blue, he faded into unconsciousness with regret and sorrow on his mind – but not before he felt a new presence and heard a familiar voice.

 

“Grimmjow, that is enough. Aizen-sama demands your return...”

 

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Grimmjow followed Tousen silently in the Garganta they had entered. The blind Shinigami had carried the order from _Aizen-sama_ to bring him back. Grimmjow wondered if he was in trouble, though he could really care less. He had gone without permission, and Aizen didn’t like having his chess pieces do things without his acknowledgment. Especially since he had 5 arrancar killed, and he had also gone out of his way to kill a Shinigami – and that may have interfered with his _godly_ plans. Grimmjow resisted rolling his eyes.

 

But it wasn’t his fault. He had first gone to the human world out of a certain calling that he couldn’t explain. He didn’t know why, but just something was urging him to cross over to the Human World.

 

After stepping into said dimension, he felt the same sensation again. Something, somewhere was calling out to him. Sensing the presence of Shinigami with pesquisa, Grimmjow set out his fraccion to dispose of them. He didn’t think that the Shinigami were strong enough to actually cut down all of them, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was getting that annoying voice that was beckoning him to whereever it was in the human world. And he was on his way to said place when he saw that Shinigami looking around.

 

Bright orange hair against black clothing and a white overcoat. Where had he seen that bright orange hair from? Whatever, Shinigami was Shinigami. And the young man was reeking of reiatsu. Grimmjow was excited to test him. He’d been itching for a fight, looking for something to destroy ever since he was born out of that orb that bastard Aizen had in his hand, but it was further fuelled by something inborn that was yelling at him to rip that certain Shinigami apart.

 

Very well then, he had thought with a predatory grin.

 

The Shinigami was so shocked by his appearance. It had him grinning with ego, but something was off about that shock. Grimmjow could tell what it was in those eyes – guilt, hesitation and confusion. He had no idea for what, and why he was looking at him with those eyes, but occasionally they burned with fire and determination. He’d seen them before, but he didn’t bother about that. All he felt the moment he saw that was to crush it. Anger had built up in him when the Shinigami lost the fire at one point, and was hesitating. He was clearly out of it, not even focusing on the fight and had that annoying pained expression.

 

Whatever, Grimmjow thought. Hesitance was for the weak. The young man didn’t even catch his sonido – only realizing it when he had pierced him in the chest with his zanpakutou. _Weak,_ Grimmjow thought with distaste. He had expected so much more from the Shinigami, but it seemed like he had overestimated him.

 

But then the orange haired man looked back at him, reached out, touched his hand for some reason... and _smiled_.

 

For the first time in his dead Hollow life, Grimmjow felt confused. However, something struck him at that moment. He recognized the Shinigami’s bright orange hair and hazel brown eyes.

 

As he continued walking through the darkness of the Garganta behind Tousen,  Grimmjow almost stopped in his tracks when a name accompanied the image of the man he had just fought and killed.

 

_Kurosaki Ichigo._

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Ichigo saw Grimmjow again. He was well aware that he was dreaming, for it was a memory during that first time Grimmjow let him into his apartment, and where the blue-haired man was sitting on his couch reading a book. He let the dream go on, not wanting to wake up from it. That was probably one of the most memorable moments he had with Grimmjow back then. Neither of them were ever really friendly with each other, but there was an unspoken mutual respect for each other. A sense of familiarity and comfort between them that was never really acknowledged vocally.

 

Grimmjow had reached out to touch his shihakushou, wondering if he could have physical contact. It amused Ichigo, but then both of them looked at each other and realized a common thought. Neither of them spoke but Ichigo returned the action, reaching out to touch his arm. It was his first time touching a human too, and Grimmjow felt warm and alive, almost comforting under his hand. Their eyes met again and Ichigo couldn't stop himself from letting the words spill past his lips.

 ‘I like you,’ Ichigo had said. He left his hand on the man’s arm, and felt Grimmjow's muscles stiffen as he moved slightly. They kept their eye contact despite that, and Ichigo couldn’t remember what he was feeling then, but he knew his heart stopped while he waited for Grimmjow’s answer.

 

‘...I don’t hate you’ the blue haired man replied, voice unusually soft and quiet, but Ichigo sensed no lies or pity in them. Ichigo would probably have laughed if the situation wasn't so nerve-wrecking for him. They found themselves leaning closer, and Ichigo's hand had slipped into Grimmjow's and their grip tightened. The silence between them was no longer awkward. Instead, it was comfortable, more so than usual, with the added intimacy of their touch. When had they become like this? From their usual bickering or their chatter that meant nothing and everything to them? Maybe both of them had realized it before but did nothing to further it.

 

Ichigo didn't remember who leaned in first, but they kissed then. He remembered how soft his lips were, the hesitance that slowly turned into need and want. Ichigo knew because he felt the same way. Ichigo had said to Grimmjow then in between those kisses, ‘I’ll protect you. I promise.’

 

It was their only physically intimate moment they shared, and that wasn't too long before Grimmjow's death.

 

Ichigo slowly opened his eyes. Light flooded his vision and had Ichigo frowning as he moved his hands to cover his eyes from the blinding light. He blinked a few more times before his vision sorted itself out and Ichigo sat up. He noticed Urahara sitting by his futon with Tessai by his side.

 

“Urahara-san...?”

 

“Good morning, Kurosaki-san,” Urahara greeted. “You’ve been asleep for three days now. How do you feel?”

 

“Like crap,” Ichigo groaned. He looked around. “You guys saved me.”

 

“Abarai-san and the others found you,” Urahara informed him with what seemed like a sincerely worried expression. “You were almost dead, with a lethal chest wound. If they hadn’t gotten you here sooner, you would have died.” Ichigo did not react to what the man just said, but instead, he just blankly stared into space.

 

“I see...” Ichigo said quietly. Then he looked around. “Where are the others?”

 

“They’re still recovering but they’re up and about,” the man in the bucket hat answered. “I’ll tell you how they fared in the arrancar fight three days ago while you were pretty much out of it: Kuchiki-san was not badly injured, so she aided Abarai-san who suffered some injuries that are deep but not fatal. Ikkaku-san recovered through personal means with Ayasegawa-san by his side. Captain Hitsugaya suffered massive lacerations and other injuries but is almost fully recovered now with his vice captain assisting him.” Ichigo nodded at the summarized information.

 

“Thank you... for helping us,” Ichigo said. His voice was hoarse and he realized how dry his throat was. Tessai handed him a glass of plain water which he gratefully gulped down.

 

“Well I did agree to the alliance,” Urahara replied with a smile as he watched the younger man empty the glass. “Now, Kurosaki-san, may I know what led to your mental breakdown?” Ichigo blinked at him, wondering what the man meant. “I know you are a better fighter. I felt your reiatsu, and I noticed that it was fluctuating unstably while you were fighting. Reiatsu reacts to emotions, and what I felt that night told me a lot about how you were feeling, and I am guessing it has something to do with the arrancar you fought.”

 

“That-!” Ichigo was about to say but clammed up. “It’s nothing. I just lost. I... failed as a captain, and didn’t manage to protect my friends.”

 

“Did anyone tell you that you’re bad at lying?” Urahara said bluntly. Ichigo rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine,” Ichigo relented and sighed. He took a moment before admitting it. “That arrancar I fought... he used to be... a friend.”

 

“A human soul?” Urahara inquired.

 

Ichigo nodded. “He was attacked by Hollows. I guess that’s what happened to him after that.”

 

“Wait just a moment, Kurosaki-san,” Urahara stopped him. “This friend of yours is a human? And I assume he can see you?”

 

“Yes,” Ichigo told him. He hesitated what he was about to say but added, “He had a coloured reiraku. It was blue.”

 

“A coloured reiraku?” Urahara looked genuinely surprised. “Do you know how extremely rare such humans are?”

 

“Yeah, I read it up, and the books said that they had spiritual power strong enough to see Shinigami and Hollows.”

 

“And did you know that he would be a target of spiritual beings that lust for power?”

 

“Yes, but – “

 

“And do you know how potent his spiritual power really is?” Urahara looked really serious now. Ichigo shut up, both surprised and a little intimidated by this new side of the usually carefree shopkeeper.

 

“No.” Urahara’s expression softened.

 

“How long ago was his death?” Urahara asked.

 

“He died fifty years ago,” Ichigo answered, his fists clenching into the cloth of his clothes.

 

“That’s strange... I never sensed his reiatsu...”

 

“Neither did I until I summoned up a reiraku search. That was when I saw it,” Ichigo recounted. Urahara nodded.

 

“Tell me more about him,” Urahara said.

 

“And will you tell me how potent his power really is, and what it has to do with all this?” Ichigo bargained and the shopkeeper replied with a smile and a nod. Taking a deep breath, Ichigo began. He never expected to relive those moments again but after seeing Grimmjow again, Ichigo guessed that it was inevitable. “He had blue reiraku, blue eyes and blue hair. He was anti-social, distrustful and always fought for his life. Ever since young he’d been fighting and escaping Hollows. It seems like he can touch spirits, especially since he can injure Hollows too. He said he could see spirits since he was born, but only began seeing Shinigami and Hollows when he was about six years old. And... that’s all I know.” Ichigo held back any unnecessary information. Those were personal.

 

“How does he fight those Hollows? With a weapon or...?”

 

“He uses his bare hands, but occasionally he uses his work tools as a weapon,” Ichigo said. Urahara put on a thoughtful expression. “Will you tell me what you’re thinking? Your expression is making me nervous.”

 

“Well Kurosaki-san, from what you told me it appears that your human friend didn’t know how much spiritual power he has in him. Humans with coloured reiraku are as strong as Shinigami, whose reiraku are also coloured. But because their colours are not standard like the Shinigami, it suggests that their powers are stronger and follows the owner’s personality as well.”

 

“How strong is ‘stronger’?”

 

“From what I know, they are stronger than the average, non-seated Shinigami. Quite possibly, they have reiatsu level to or higher than a captain. I suppose it’s a good thing that he doesn’t know how to reach that power inside of him. He’s quite capable of destruction as much as a captain can.”

 

 “Okay, so what does that have to do with the current situation now,” Ichigo asked, now a little confused by the topic that had side-tracked.

 

“Humans with coloured reiraku are extremely rare and are often sought out by other spiritual beings so that they can use that massive amount of reiatsu in them. Even when they pass on, the power sticks. If they are Shinigami, they would automatically be captain level. If they are Hollows, they would definitely be Vasto Lorde level.

 

"Does this have to do with Aizen's defection? I thought I heard Tousen before I passed out.."

 

" Kaname Tousen was there? He's one of the captains that went with Aizen, isn't he? And if he was bringing the arrancar back to Hueco Mundo, I think I know what Aizen is doing now.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“I think he’s gathering those Hollows borne out of these people with coloured reiraku. These people are hard to find, even as Hollows, but if what you said about that human friend of yours being attacked by Hollows, I think Aizen’s had it all planned from the beginning,” Urahara said.

 

“...I knew that,” Ichigo replied him slowly. “I knew it ever since he betrayed Soul Society, and he looked at me as he mentioned about humans. When I got to the human world... Grimmjow was dead.”

 

“Kurosaki-san, please listen to me. From what Captain Hitsugaya got from the arrancar he was fighting, he said that Aizen had gathered ten strongest arrancar to lead his army. They are called the Espada. One of the six arrancar that came to the human world was one of them, and he was the sixth. That one was your human friend,” Urahara told him. “Those ten Espada would probably be Hollows with souls similar to your friend’s, and they are probably stronger than the captains.”

 

“I do have faith in the other captains of the Gotei 13, but right now I...” Ichigo stopped. “I don’t have faith in myself. I was defeated. I’m not strong enough. I couldn’t even land a decent hit on Grimmjow.”

 

“That’s where I’d like to help, Kurosaki-san,” Urahara said. The man smiled a smile that added suspicious intent to his already shady features. “I’m offering you something that is forbidden and would mean exile from Soul Society, but it would bring you enough strength. I am offering it to you because you seem to be the perfect candidate. You have a lot of untapped power in you, from what I see in your Zangetsu, and what I’m offering you might help you in bringing it out.”

 

“...Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Ichigo stared at him dead in the eye, unsure whether to dread or anticipate what the man was offering him.

 

“Yes,” Urahara replied steadily.

 

“...I... need a few days to consider it,” Ichigo said slowly.

 

“Alright, I”ll leave you to think and to recover. Please don’t stress yourself over it, I don’t want your recovery to be stalled by your psyche,” Urahara reminded him and left the room.

 

Ichigo sat in his futon silently, mulling over his thoughts. Was Urahara crazy, offering him such a thing? But there was only a few months left before the Hougyoku was fully prepared and the war with Aizen would start. That battle with the arrancar was probably just an introduction. From what Ichigo heard, Grimmjow was only the sixth, yet he was already that strong. No matter what Ichigo forced himself to think, that Hollow was Grimmjow. His features, his voice, his choice of words and actions _screamed_ Grimmjow. It appeared that his strong personality had remained intact and it made Ichigo smirk despite himself. The other captains could fight the other Espada, but he too had to help in those battles. And what about Aizen? Ichigo had sworn he’d kill that bastard.

 

But right now he was too weak. A couple of months’ training wouldn’t bring much result. Ichigo pondered over the matter over the days he took to recover.

 

On the day he was fully recovered, Ichigo approached Urahara.

 

“Kurosaki-san, you’re well enough to go back to Soul Society,” the shopkeeper said with a cheery smile.

 

“I’m taking up your offer,” Ichigo told him straightforwardly. Urahara gave him a look.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes,” Ichigo said.

 

“Very well then,” Urahara stood up and led Ichigo into one of the rooms inside the shop that he hadn’t seen before. There was a ladder that led down to the basement. “Please proceed downstairs. We’ll perform the hollowfication process there.”

 

**\-------------------- Part 4 end ---------------------**


	5. The Past

Aizen stared down at Grimmjow from the high chair he sat on. Grimmjow was bowing slightly as a show of respect to the bastard who lorded over them. How ironic for a Shinigami to rule over Hollows. It was disgusting, but Grimmjow knew the man was much worse than Shinigami or even Hollows. He was scum. But he had power too great that even Grimmjow knew better than to go against him. Besides, the man had given him power to evolve into the arrancar he is now. But his strength as the Sixth, the Sexta, was all his own.

 

Grimmjow wondered if he would die now for going against the man’s orders. Well, the man didn’t specifically forbid them from going to the Human World, but not seeking permission was as bad as going against orders. He could feel Tousen glare at him from behind, which was stupid, because the man was supposedly blind. Grimmjow ignored the man’s presence and waited for Aizen to speak.

 

“Why did you go to the Human World, Grimmjow?” Aizen asked politely, almost sickly sweet. What a fraud, Grimmjow thought.

 

“Something urged me to go there,” Grimmjow told him. He didn’t know why he told the man the truth, as if he expected Aizen to believe him, but he didn’t have any other better excuses.

 

“What is this ‘something’? Did someone call you there?” Aizen asked again and he looked interested. His look almost had Grimmjow convinced but he knew better.

 

“Just something. Like I was supposed to do something but I don’t know what,” Grimmjow uttered under his breath. He didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not with Aizen.

 

“I see,” Aizen nodded with a thin smile. “But you faced some obstacles, did you not?”

 

“Just some Shinigami.”

 

“Who killed all five of your fraccion, dwindling our numbers,” Tousen added. He sounded like he was trying to sound polite and respectful around Aizen’s presence, but to Grimmjow he failed miserably. The Sexta merely scoffed.

 

“But I heard you killed one, a captain?”

 

“Yes,” Grimmjow said quickly with a triumphant smirk. He felt a little pleased by that achievement, yet something was bugging him in the back of his mind. “An orange-haired one. I figured it was better to attack and weaken them now so that it’ll be easier for Aizen-sama later.” Grimmjow was lying through his teeth, and hated that, but it didn’t hurt to give more reasons for the Shinigami to not kill him right then and there.

 

“Ah,” Aizen was smiling now and Grimmjow only narrowed his eyes at the man questioningly, but did not raise his head. Probably an old comrade he betrayed. “Thank you, Grimmjow, I’m quite pleased with that. You may go.”

 

“Serious?” Grimmjow raised his head now, looking up at the man in the high chair. He almost forgot the respect he was supposed to show but the former Shinigami seemed to not mind.

 

“Yes, Grimmjow. However I do wish for you to remain in your quarters until I call you. That will be your punishment for losing your fraccion so easily to battle,” Aizen said casually.

 

“But Aizen-sama!” Tousen looked furious. “That is too lenient! He -”

 

“Are you questioning my judgment, Kaname?” Aizen said as he eyed the dark-skinned man.

 

“N-no! Forgive me, Aizen-sama,” Tousen quickly said as he scrambled to his knees. What an ass-kisser, Grimmjow thought.

 

“Thank you, Aizen-sama,” Grimmjow said to man, and bowed one last time before he turned to return to his quarters. He hated being stuck amongst all the white walls, but at least he got away with it. For now he’d just have more time to think about that orange-haired Shinigami.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Ichigo felt a little chill run down his spine the moment he awoke. What the hell just happened? He felt the nostalgic feeling of being watched by a certain someone, but couldn’t really place his finger on it. He sat up on his futon in the Urahara Shoten and stretched his limbs. The captain could just vaguely remember the night before, where he had gone through the most serious of crimes according to the law of Soul Society. Fancy that, a captain willingly breaking the order just to attain power... Ichigo shook his head when he thought how similar his crime was to that of Aizen. No way, he thought. He wasn’t doing this for himself. It was to defeat that bastard, protect Karakura Town and... to redeem himself.

  
The young captain sighed as he lay back down and turned to his side. He didn’t feel like waking up. He felt the strange new power within him and it felt so foreign yet so familiar. His eyes slipped close and the first thing he saw in his mind was the mirror image of himself, bleached white but sporting an evil grin that was accompanied by sinister golden eyes with black scelera.

 

 _Aibou_ , the black and white thing had called him. His zanpakutou spirit, Zangetsu was there in his inner world, standing behind his mirror image. The older man knew of Ichigo’s decision, and as loyal as always, had followed him faithfully. Zangetsu had aided him, though not directly, in defeating the hollow that was brought out in him as Ichigo went through the process of hollowfication. The fight with the white creature was tough, but Ichigo had barely managed to defeat him.

 

 _Aibou_ , the thing had spoken again, that grin never leaving its features. _Bring out your guilt, your sorrow, your anger of that night. But also bring out your instinct, your desire, and your reason to fight. Without those you can’t defeat me. And if you don’t defeat me, you won’t be able to save that man of yours. But if you do defeat me, I’ll lend you my power, and you shall be King_.

 

To Ichigo, it was both a taunt and an advice. What the creature had said had actually pushed him to keep fighting, and finally he did win. But that was only the beginning, Ichigo was sure of that. Urahara had told him the moment the ordeal was over, that he had attained powers of a Hollow. The only problem now was for Ichigo to learn to control the new power, and when Ichigo asked whether he knew how, the shopkeeper merely grinned slyly and said that he had some things in store for him.

 

Ichigo turned to lie flat on his back again, this time to just stare blankly at the ceiling. He'd just realized why the feeling was so familiar; it was similar to that of a Hollow, and to Grimmjow. He had a Hollow in him now, one that will provide him with new strength to reach his aim. He wondered if that meant that Grimmjow had a Shinigami soul in him. Did it even work that way? Ichigo didn't pay much attention to the technical specifics.

 

“Grimmjow...” Ichigo uttered the name. He absentmindedly placed his hand on his chest, where the wound from Grimmjow’s sword was. Urahara had told him that the scar was permanent; he had tried many medical kidou, but none worked. Ichigo didn’t mind that the scar was there. It was to be a reminder for him of Grimmjow – who he was then, and who he is now. In some strange way, it was a motivator. _If you don’t defeat Grimmjow, defeat Aizen, then you’ll have more scars until you’re shredded to pieces._ Ichigo sighed out loud again before he finally got up to dress.

 

The sliding door suddenly slammed open and sent Ichigo jumping, startled by the sudden noise. Rukia and Renji was there, looking annoyed with Urahara behind them smiling apologetically at him. “Oi Ichigo! What have you been doing staying here!! “ Renji yelled at him as he grabbed him by the collar. “It’s been a week since you’ve fully recovered but you haven’t been in Soul Society except for the time when you had to report back to the Captain-Commander!”

 

“What’re you doing here that is secretive enough for you to not even tell your closest friends?” Rukia said, a look of disappointment and concern in her eyes. Ichigo avoided the look when she asked. Renji shook him angrily.

  
“Ichigo!”

 

“I’m not ready to tell you guys!” Ichigo finally said. He placed his hand on Renji’s wrist gently and looked into his best friend’s eyes. “For now, just trust in me. I will defeat Aizen.”

 

“But why are you keeping secrets?” Rukia asked. Ichigo looked at her then looked away as he lowered his head silently. Rukia sighed. “We believe in you, Ichigo, but we won’t take it if you shut us out completely. We know you’re training hard to defeat Aizen, to defeat that Arrancar that almost killed you, but at the very least, talk to us sometime too, will you?” Rukia told him gently. Ichigo faced her again and smiled, feeling extremely grateful for her understanding. Renji released him, looking quite calm from Rukia’s words as well.

 

“Whatever it is you’re not ready to tell us, we’ll wait until you are,” Renji added. Ichigo smiled at them.

 

“Thank you, you guys.”

 

“Sorry to intrude your moment of friendship, but I’m afraid I have to cut the moment short,” Urahara suddenly said from behind them. “I have some plans for Kurosaki-san and the both of you would have to leave him. Don’t worry, it’s nothing, just some secret training that will make Kurosaki-san the great Karakuraizer!” Rukia and Renji smirked at the shopkeeper’s humour and mention of the man’s fantasy of a local town hero. After one last goodbye, the two of them returned to Soul Society, leaving Ichigo with Urahara who changed to his serious mode.

 

“So what’re these ‘plans’ of yours?” Ichigo asked. Urahara merely smiled at him when Ichigo felt the reiatsu of another presence. He looked past Urahara and saw a blonde man with a straight bob grinning at him from ear to ear standing by the entrance. Ichigo’s hand automatically moved to Zangetsu defensively at the man’s presence but Urahara didn’t seem alarmed.

 

“He is the plan,” Urahara told him as he pointed his closed fan to the man behind him. “Kurosaki-san, meet Hirako Shinji. Just like you, he has went through Hollowfication. He and the Vizards shall teach you how to control your powers.”  
  
“Nice ta meet ya, Ichigo~” Hirako Shinji greeted in a Kansai accent.

 

“’He and the Vizards’? They went through Hollowfication? So you mean they’re the shinigami experiments?” Ichigo looked back and forth from Urahara and the stranger, not quite expecting these plans of his.

 

“Yep, now follow me and we’ll be kicking asses!” the blonde man said and Ichigo looked back at Urahara questioningly. The former captain nodded, and Ichigo followed.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

A couple of weeks was left before the war with Aizen would begin. Ichigo had been staying in the Living World almost the whole time since he recovered, only to return to Soul Society to report to his superiors. The Captain Commander had allowed him to do so, since he was still playing the part of a mediator between them and Urahara. Ichigo had begun his training with the Vizards since then, and had met all eight of them. He had learned much about their past, like the shocking truth that they were actually Shinigami captains and vice-captains a century ago. To learn that Aizen had started his plan so long ago only fuelled Ichigo’s desire to bring the man down. He felt sick to learn that he was a part in Aizen’s plans – that Grimmjow’s life was just a mere tool to him.

 

The orange-haired captain trained strenuously, continuously battling his inner Hollow in order to earn more control of its power. So far he could only manage almost half a minute of keeping his mask on, but Ichigo pledged to train further.

 

It was the end to another day of vigorous training. The Vizards had told him not to push himself too far, but Ichigo always brushed it off. Shinji seemed to understand his desire and went along with his decision, and to Ichigo he was a little like Urahara. Speaking of the cheeky shopkeeper, occasionally the man would drop by the warehouse that they were training in (which the man had conveniently provided) to see how Ichigo was doing. Sometimes Ichigo wondered what his real intention was, because he thought that sometimes he could see an expression of silent observation that was calculative, thoughtful, and even a little bit worried - all quite hidden behind that paper fan and shady bucket hat of his. He just wished the man would tell him something, since whatever was worrying him must definitely involve him.

 

After leaving the Vizard’s hideout, Ichigo had decided to go for a walk. He needed to clear his head and take a little break from all the physical work he had been doing. His thoughts hadn’t been very peaceful either, since he had a new resident in his Inner World. Ichigo wasn’t sure whether that Hollow image of him was friend or foe, but though he was a sick, twisted bastard, Ichigo guessed he owed the creature a whole lot. He was just thankful Zangetsu was there to guide and keep an eye on him.

 

Ichigo let his feet carry him where they wanted, he just wanted to feel the wind against his skin and through his hair. He felt a sense of nostalgia as he flash-stepped over the buildings. Though the town had changed, the scene of the buildings against the night sky was quite the same as fifty years before. He wasn’t wearing his captain’s haori either, and the whole scene of him in normal uniform running atop concrete buildings in the night felt almost as if it was just yesterday. Ichigo stopped right at the very street where Grimmjow had died, and where he himself almost had his life taken too – by the hands of the same man. Ichigo smirked humourlessly at the irony as he tried to suppress the rising emotion of sadness. Would he ever get over his guilt? Ichigo wondered to himself, and could never land on an answer. Seeing Grimmjow again had just brought back the pain, and seeing the cold hate and anger in the man’s blue eyes was a double blow to him. Absent-mindedly, Ichigo’s fingers traced the scar at his chest where Grimmjow had stabbed him.

 

Thunder rumbled softly in the far distance from where Ichigo was standing. The sound brought Ichigo back from his daze, and the Shinigami realized that the heavy rain clouds were approaching his way. It was best to return before the rain would fall. Ichigo glanced at the spot where Grimmjow’s reiatsu had last lingered and stared at it for a moment, before he returned to Urahara’s shop where his accommodation was.

 

He entered the shop quietly; it was already late at night and the other occupants should already be sleeping. He slipped into his futon and fell asleep almost immediately, with his thoughts focused on an old memory, and the new creature that was slumbering in his mind.

 

Urahara closed the slight gap of the sliding door that separated Ichigo’s room from his when he saw the young man got into his futon to sleep. He turned back to his room and sighed as Ichigo’s reiatsu lowered into a peaceful, stagnant level. Surely, that young man had an amount of reiatsu that was great as the ocean. The shopkeeper smiled fondly at the thought but sighed when he looked at his messy room. Papers and books were strewn all over the floor – a once common sight when Urahara was still in Soul Society. The former captain exhaled loudly before he collected back all the papers and books and tried to arrange them neatly. His mind was multitasking with worrisome and tactical thoughts.

 

Ever since meeting Kurosaki Ichigo, Urahara had been researching on the young man. He had heard of the surname before, and was sure that it was something important. He had discussed it with Yoruichi, who too had heard of the name but was unsure as well. She had left to seek out her own sources on information, while Urahara did his. The former 12th division captain had taken out all his history books and papers. He looked up on special cases similar to the orange haired Shinigami, and his human friend with the coloured reiraku. The unfortunate thing was that they were too rare to be reported and written down, but Urahara was positive he had read up on them in the years when he was still in Soul Society. It was frustrating to know that something that seemed so trivial before was so important at the moment, and it was making Urahara a little anxious. What was Aizen really planning, to involve such humans and subtly, Kurosaki Ichigo?

 

There hadn’t been any cases of a Shinigami who had too much reiatsu that their zanpakutou is simply unable to revert back to its sealed form. It wasn’t a matter of skill to force it back to that state, the sword just _can’t_ , even with Urahara’s help. Even Aizen and Captain Commander Yamamoto, who are probably the strongest in Soul Society, didn’t have that problem, yet that young orange-haired man did. It meant something, and Urahara was very keen on finding out what.

 

The shopkeeper was straightening up some history records when his eye caught sight of an old, yellowed piece of report that stuck out of a thick stack of papers. Urahara reached out to retrieve it and when his eyes read the words that spread across the paper, he couldn’t believe his luck. His little moment of joy was interrupted by surprise however, when he saw a certain name under the confidential list of the Zero Squad, better known as The Royal Guards.

 

_Kurosaki Isshin._

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Grimmjow was running, running, running. There were walls, buildings, streets and night skies. All he could hear was his own heavy breathing and the shrieks of Hollows. Grimmjow didn’t know why he was running. He couldn’t control himself, but just watch wherever his body brought him and what his vision showed him. He ran through buildings that looked similar to the ones in the Living World, where he had fought that shinigami.

 

He could feel... there were six of them. He ran, narrowly missed one that lunged at him, then turned into a narrow pathway. He kept running and running, until he reached a dead end. He turned and saw the six cornering him. One was an Arrancar, a low level one. Grimmjow wondered why the hell he was in the Living World in the first place. Why was he running, and from low level Hollows too? Was he looking through someone else’s eyes?  Grimmjow felt his jaw move and heard himself throw a taunt at his pursuers, and saw himself throw a broken pole at one of them.

 

Why can’t he just shoot a cero? Or even use sonido in the first place? Could this be... a memory from his human life? Grimmjow couldn’t hear what the Hollows were saying but he could care less. Grimmjow was too occupied with the questions in his head, but his attention went back to them when they moved.

 

A flash of orange split across his vision for a mere second, and all six of the hollows pounced on him. Grimmjow awoke with a start.

 

“What the hell was that?!” Grimmjow muttered to himself. He rubbed his face that was drenched in cold sweat. “What...” Grimmjow lay back down of his bed and stared up at the blank high ceiling of his private room.

 

...That wasn’t his first dream. It had been weeks since he killed that Shinigami, but ever since that name popped up in his head, Grimmjow had been having dreams.  Do Hollows dream in the first place? He didn’t know. Grimmjow got off his bed and paced around the large white room. He had been stuck in there all those weeks and a couple of the furniture had already been destroyed; he couldn’t stand the silence and blank, almost never-ending white walls and ceilings. The dreams seemed to be the only thing that was keeping him from losing too much of his sanity, not that he had much in the first place.

 

Grimmjow still didn’t know who the Shinigami was. All he knew was the name. But how did he know him? Occasionally he thought he saw orange in those dreams like that recent one, but they were only split second flashes like a subliminal image in a video. Who was he? Did he know him when he was human? Only thing he knew was that every time the name or the image of that Shinigami popped up in his head, Grimmjow felt hate and destructive fury well up inside him that was similar to those when he was borne out of the Hougyoku. But why those feelings? Why the dreams? Why that Shinigami?

 

Grimmjow grabbed the side table by his bed and threw it against the wall, the wooden furniture crashing into bits joining the previous pile. Grimmjow dropped back to his bed, burying his face in his hands. His head hurt, and for some reason, an indescribable fury was raging through him and all he wanted was to destroy everything, just to have everything stop.

 

A sudden knock on the door, and Grimmjow’s chaotic mind came to a standstill.

 

“Grimmjow.” _Aizen._ The door to his room finally opened; it had been locked from the outside. Was his punishment finally over? The current master of Hueco Mundo stood by the doorway and was smiling gently at him. “Are you feeling well? I notice that your reiatsu has been fluctuating unstably occasionally in the past weeks. Is something troubling you? Well, asides from your punishment by isolation.”

 

“Nothing,” Grimmjow replied curtly.

 

“Is it the Shinigami you killed?” Aizen asked again. Grimmjow turned to look at him, trying his best to hide his glare.

 

“No,” Grimmjow said through gritted teeth. Aizen eyed him with his knowing smile.

 

“I’m very interested to know, please share with me, Grimmjow,” Aizen pressed and slightly raised his reiatsu, which knocked a little breath out of the Sexta. Grimmjow didn’t bother to hide his glare by then, but followed the order.

 

“Yes, it is about him.”

 

“What is it about him that makes you so agitated, Grimmjow?”

 

“I don’t know,” Grimmjow said. “Just seeing him makes me want to destroy something.” Thinking about the Shinigami was making his blood boil again and apparently he was getting obvious from the way Aizen was looking at him.

 

“If you see him again, what would you do?” Grimmjow turned to look at Aizen like he said the most ridiculous thing.

 

“He’s already dead, I killed him.” Aizen smiled wider.

  
“Yes, I know, but I said ‘if’. What would you do?” Grimmjow turned to blank space and seemed to hesitate. But the bright colour reappeared in his mind and once again, only anger bubbled inside him.

 

“I’ll rip him apart,” Grimmjow uttered, almost growling under his breath. Aizen appeared pleased by the answer as he just nodded slightly with that smile and beckoned him.

 

“Very well. Now come, we have a meeting,” Aizen told him, now as an order. Grimmjow straightened up and followed suit, slightly thankful for the former Shinigami captain’s presence that distracted him from his thoughts. He wondered what the meeting was about, but figured that it was probably time for the man to make his move against Soul Society.

 

Grimmjow took his usual seat in the meeting table where the all ten of the Espada gathered. The rest were there, but most ignored his entrance with their master. Gin and Tousen were there as well, with the blind Shinigami still acknowledging him with contempt as he entered.

 

“Dear lady and gentlemen,” Aizen began. “In a week, we shall begin our invasion of Karakura Town. I hope you all remember what are your roles and tasks that I have told you. The Gotei 13 Captains will be there, and though I have much faith in you, I warn that they are strong.” The Espada remained silent. “I will remind you of your roles again,” Aizen said. He glanced at each Espada as he called.

 

“Yammy LLargo, Diez Espada of Rage.” A large, burly man with a lower jaw mask and red marking across his cheekbones.

 

“Aaroniero Aarruruerie, Noveno Espada of Greed.” A quiet man with a tube-like mask donning a ruffled outfit.

 

“Szayel Apporo Granz, Octava Espada of Madness.” A bespectacled pink-haired man with a smug smirk.

 

“Zommari Rureaux, Septima Espada of Intoxication.” A dark skinned man with thick lips, strong brows and markings on his forehead.

 

“Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Sexta Espada of Destruction.” The blue-haired man grunted.

 

“Nnoitora Gilga, Quinto Espada of Despair.” An extremely tall, skinny man with an eye patch and a sly, uncovered eye.

 

“Ulquiorra Schiffer, Quarto Espada of Nihilism.” A white-skinned, large green eyed man with tear marks over his cheeks.

 

“Tia Harribel, Tercera Espada of Sacrifice.” A tanned woman with bright yellow hair lowered her head slightly in acknowledgement.

 

“Baraggan Luisenbarn, Segunda Espada of Aging.” A stout old man with facial scars, grey hair and a crown-like mask over his head.

 

“And Coyote Starrk, Primera Espada of Solitude.” A man with shoulder length hair and goatee yawned.

 

“Please prepare yourselves of your roles,” Aizen continued coolly with his usual slight smile. “The time for rebirth is approaching soon. I am sure you will not disappoint me.”

 

**\-------------------- Part 5 end ---------------------**


	6. The Present

Ichigo was dreaming of a memory again. But this time it wasn’t in the human world. It was much older, before he even met Grimmjow, before he even became a Shinigami. He was in Rukongai, alone and in some shed that he could barely remember or recognize, the dream hazy in its details.  Truth be told, he had almost completely forgotten his life before joining the Gotei.

 

In this dream he was wrapped in a blanket, though it wasn’t particularly cold. He was facing the door, and by the opening in the door he could tell that it was night outside. It felt as if waiting for someone, and just as he wondered who, a figure appeared in the doorway. He looked up to see the face, but it was dark, covered by the shadows of the night. All he could really see was that he was a man with a goatee and stubble, with half of a tattered white coat fastened over black robes on one side of his shoulder. The man spoke and Ichigo could vaguely recognise the voice. “What’s your name?”

 

Ichigo replied with a small and tired voice, “I don’t know.” He was surprised at the answer, but he wasn’t in control of himself; just a memory playing in his head.

 

The man entered the shed and lowered himself to his knees to level with Ichigo’s eyes. Ichigo could see his face clearly now. He had a kind face and dark eyes. “Are you living here alone?”

 

“Yes...” Ichigo looked at him in the eye. “Everyone else doesn’t dare come near me. I heard them say that they feel sick or faint if they get near.” The man with the coat gave him a sympathetic smile.

 

“With a spiritual power as dense as yours, I’m not surprised,” Ichigo just stared at him, a little confused. “Would you like to come with me?”

 

“Why?” Ichigo asked. The man still smiled at him. He looked gentle and paternal, and Ichigo wondered if this was what it felt like to have a father.

 

“So that you won’t be alone. You’ll be with others just like you,” the man said. “You don’t want to continue being alone, do you?” Ichigo felt himself cling onto his blanket and hesitated. He had become used to being alone, but...

 

“No, I don’t want to.” The man smiled wider and stood up. He offered his large hand to Ichigo, who took it hesitantly, and the man led him out of the shed.

 

“You don’t know your name right?” the man asked as they walked. Ichigo shook his head. “Alright then, I’ll give you a name.” Ichigo waited quietly as the man’s expression turned thoughtful. He turned back to Ichigo after a moment with a grin, “Your name will be Ichigo. How about that?”

 

“I don’t like strawberries,” Ichigo felt himself say, but his own consciousness was again  surprised at what he was seeing. Was this really how he got his name?

 

“No, no, not that meaning,” the man said as he chuckled. “This ‘Ichigo’ would mean ‘one guardian’ or ‘to protect one thing’.”

 

“...And what would I be protecting?” Ichigo asked.

 

“That would depend on you. With that much power in you, you can become a Shinigami. If you become one, you can protect a lot of things, but there will always be one thing that would become your most important thing you would protect no matter what,” the man told him. Ichigo stared at the man’s smiling face and then to the ground. Though he was still conscious that it was just a memory, Ichigo found himself thinking of what the man had said. He had found that ‘one thing’, but he lost it, and was now fighting to get it back.

 

His head turned to look back up at the man who was holding his hand and leading him out of Rukongai. “Hey, old man.” The man’s face was set in a comical expression of mock hurt and surprise.

 

“I’m not an old man! At least call me mister!” Ichigo ignored the comment.

 

“What’s your name? And why are you helping me?” The man’s smiling face dropped slightly, but he smiled again at Ichigo.

 

“Well, for one, your reiatsu is too great to go unnoticed and left alone. Uh, the Gotei had me looking for you. If you are left alone, the whole of Rukongai might get  sick from your uncontrolled spirit pressure,” Ichigo realized that was why no one would go near him. But this man was still fine. Was that where they were going? To a place where the people wouldn’t get sick from this reiatsu thing he had? “And also...” the man added with what seemed like a sad smile. “You remind me of someone very precious to me.”

 

Ichigo looked questioningly at him but didn’t ask. “You still haven’t told me your name yet, mister.” The man laughed, and the sound was strangely comforting and pleasant to Ichigo.

 

“Ah that’s right, my name is...” Ichigo strained his ears to hear it, but the man’s voice had become muffled and distant when he said it.

 

 _Dammit, what’s his name?_ Ichigo thought as he realized that he was waking up. Why do dreams always have to end at cliffhangers? He stirred in his half-sleep and slowly opened his eyes to the wooden ceiling of Urahara’s shop. He groaned and tossed and turned in the bed, not keen in waking up. After a moment he finally sat up in the futon, ruffling his own hair as he thought about the vivid dream.

 

Was that really how he got his name? Given by some man? He recognised him, but he couldn’t remember who. Was the man a Shinigami? A captain, even? Why couldn’t he remember? Ichigo pondered. He was still an adolescent in the dream too, but there was barely anything to fill the gap between that period of time and the time where he entered the Shinigami Academy. Who applied him there in the first place? Was it he himself? Or that man? Ichigo buried his face in his hands and was getting frustrated at all the missing pieces in his life. It was even stranger for him to just have realized how much of his memory that he was missing. But why now? Why did he suddenly remember?

 

Ichigo wondered if someone had put some memory block on him, and that having acquired this new power had unlocked some of it. Or maybe he just had some accident that caused his memory loss. He didn’t know. Ichigo was just feeling confused and frustrated. He washed up and got dressed, then left his room to see Urahara.

 

The man was nowhere to be seen however, and even Tessai didn’t know where he went. “Manager said he was meeting with Yoruichi-san but didn’t say where.” Ichigo nodded and left it alone. He wanted to go to the Vizard’s hideout for more training anyway.

 

When he stepped out of the shop, however, he felt something ripple in the air and immediately knew what it was. He flash stepped towards it without hesitation. A Garganta had been opened, and he could sense that there was only one of them.

 

It was definitely Grimmjow.

 

Ichigo’s heartbeat quickened at the thought and moved faster. He needed to see him again. He was fully aware of why he needed to see him and had always scolded himself for wanting to see the man just to relive his memory of the man he loved. He  had to keep reminding himself every time that he had to forget those feelings so that he it was easier to kill him. A painful reminder, but Ichigo knew he had to. To cleanse Grimmjow’s soul, redeem himself and fix things. That was what he told himself.

 

But just as he was heading towards the direction, he heard the buzz of that strange shunpo the Arrancar use, and saw that it was Grimmjow himself. He was so surprised by the man’s presence he almost forgot to breathe. “Grimmjow,” Ichigo uttered breathlessly.

 

“You’re alive,” the man said in what seemed like disbelief. But it sounded as if he expected it too.

 

“I guess it takes a lot more than a stab to the chest to kill me,” Ichigo replied snappily. His heart was beating hard as he stared back at the man. Ichigo noticed a strange look in the Arrancar’s face – he looked tired as if from lack of sleep, but there was still rage and confusion in there.

 

“Tell me how you know my name, Shinigami,” Grimmjow growled out. Ichigo looked at him questioningly, forgetting to prepare for battle. “I heard you utter my name. I didn’t tell you last time. _How do you know my name_.”

 

“I...” Ichigo began to say but he was cut off from a cero that he just narrowly dodged. The energy blast destroyed hit some trees below.

 

“Tell me!” Grimmjow yelled. He shot another cero that Ichigo dodged again. More trees and a few public properties were blasted away and Ichigo looked at Grimmjow in desperation. If he doesn’t stop him soon, the man would destroy the entire place! Ichigo took Zangetsu out but Grimmjow appeared behind him with that buzzing strange shunpo they use. Ichigo slashed Zangetsu at him, but Grimmjow caught him by the arm and pulled him in as his other fist threw a punch. Ichigo, caught off guard, felt the blunt force smash into his face and grunted in pain. He kicked at Grimmjow’s gut, getting the man to release him and went to flash step away to get some distance. He winced at his sore jaw and split lip but he was grateful for the wake-up call. He had to focus.

 

Bringing forth Zangetsu, he brought out his bankai while Grimmjow just glared at him. Ichigo didn’t understand where all the rage was coming from. It was there last time, but now it was fuelled by something. He just had this wild look in his eyes that screamed confusion and also helplessness. Ichigo grit his teeth at the expression in the other man’s face as the guilt began to creep in again.

 

Grimmjow disappeared with his shunpo and appeared to Ichigo’s left. He sent a kick which Ichigo blocked with Zangetsu, but the man disappeared and reappeared in the opposite direction and this time he grabbed Ichigo by the neck and plunged both of them to the ground with force. They crashed into a desolate building, collapsing the ceilings and rundown walls. Ichigo choked as his windpipe was being constricted. “How do you know my name!”

 

“L-let... go!” Ichigo wheezed. Grimmjow was in a crazed state. His reiatsu was rising to a level where it was enough to destroy physical objects. The rubble around them shook, while some even cracked and crumbled at the intensity of his spirit pressure. Grimmjow was sitting on his chest, his hand around his throat and not loosening his grip for a second. His blue eyes bore into Ichigo’s with deep hate.

 

“Tell me, Kurosaki, why do you know my name?!” Grimmjow kept asking that, but how could he answer when the man was so crazed he didn’t even let Ichigo have a chance to speak? What the man said next though, startled him. It was uttered so softly and out of focus, that Ichigo almost didn’t think it came from the blue-haired Arrancar. “I won’t forgive you for leaving me.”

 

It took a moment for it to sink in, but Ichigo wondered if that was what he really meant. Was he referring to that night? Ichigo thought he didn’t remember him? He stared into the eyes of the man above him, his vision already going out from the lack of air. There was no hesitation, mercy or humanity there. Grimmjow’s free hand began to glow as energy gathered into a ball in the palm of his hand. Ichigo shut his eyes as the cero charged up.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

 

Just as Grimmjow was about to blast the cero into Ichigo, he was thrown back by a mass of red-black energy that surrounded the Shinigami. Grimmjow stood up from the concrete rubble and looked up. The Shinigami was standing there, with his robes a little torn up and now wearing a mask. A Hollow mask. Grimmjow almost didn’t believe his eyes; a Shinigami with a Hollow mask was unheard of. Black-gold eyes stared back at him from behind the mask and if Grimmjow didn’t know any better, he would have thought it was another Arrancar. With the reiatsu he was displaying, he could have easily passed for an Espada. Grimmjow grit his teeth and growled. The more he looked at the Shinigami, the more he couldn’t stand him. The mask only added his contempt towards the smaller man.

 

 Bright orange hair and warm chocolate eyes had been invading his every dream since Aizen’s meeting, and Grimmjow thought he was going insane. He thought the kid was dead, but because of the dreams he felt he couldn’t be. He felt sick every time his thoughts went to the Shinigami. He was frustrated, angry and just mentally exhausted. The dreams didn’t help him either. They only showed bits of the orange haired Shinigami, but never told him who exactly he was to Grimmjow. And now all he wanted was to destroy the very man who was plaguing his mind. Even if the dreams wouldn’t stop and drive him mad, he needed to destroy him just to get the desire to kill the man from said dreams out of his system.

 

“Grimmjow,” the Shinigami said from behind the mask. His voice was distorted, and almost inhuman. Grimmjow hated the sound.

 

“How do you know my name?!” Grimmjow was screaming again. _Stop calling my name when I don’t even know who the fuck you are!_ “You fucked my head up, driving me insane, invading my thoughts and dreams, and now with whatever the fuck you’ve done to yourself this past month, I’ll blast your head off, along with that mask!” The Shinigami just stood there, still with that damned mask on. Despite the sinister shape of it, Grimmjow thought he looked sorrowful. What the hell was his problem? And why won’t he just fucking explain? In anger, Grimmjow shot another cero at the Shinigami but he disappeared and catching Grimmjow by surprise from below, where he swung his sleek black blade upwards. Grimmjow managed to step back and avoided the attack but still got a cut right above his Hollow hole. This time, he unsheathed his zanpakutou as the Shinigami sent a flurry of slicing attacks at him with heightened speed.

  
**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

 

With the mask on, Ichigo was faster, stronger. But he was on a time limit. Ichigo had wasted time in contemplating again, but he decided to make it quick the moment he took his first flash step towards the Espada. He shoved all emotions away as he slashed away at Grimmjow, who had already drew his sword and seemed to be having trouble against Ichigo’s new power. He must have been caught off-guard by his sudden change of appearance, and Ichigo was counting on that to defeat him. Their blades met with a loud metallic clang and they were both in a power struggle as they pushed all their strength on their swords. Ichigo charged Zangetsu up and uttered his strongest attack name. “Getsuga Tenshou.”

 

A large blast of red-black energy consumed the area and Grimmjow was once again thrown back. He smashed into the concrete wall at the far end of the rundown building. Ichigo saw he had difficulty to stand up, and his clothing were already tattered and torn. _Another shot or two of Getsuga Tenshou would do it._ Grimmjow looked enraged as he panted for breath. His eyes dilated with the very same anger and hate when the man first saw him that day. Though his opponent was down, Ichigo didn’t have the time to wait for him to stand up. His mask was reaching its limit. Ichigo readied another Getsuga Tensho and shot it Grimmjow, who countered with his own cero. Not expecting that but taking the chance, Ichigo flash stepped towards the man with Zangetsu already charged with possibly the last Getsuga Tensho that might end it all. Grimmjow looked very surprised, and his eyes changed into what seemed like realization and resignation. The almost soft expression made Ichigo hesitate, and at that moment, Ichigo’s mask broke.

 

“Shit!” Ichigo managed to say, and upon immediate reflex, Grimmjow took that second of opportunity and grinned as he slashed deep into Ichigo’s stomach. The Shinigami groaned in mind numbing pain and fell to the ground. Blood splattered everywhere. Ichigo struggled to pick himself up but with the sudden amount of blood he lost, he was already getting dizzy. He felt a rough hand tugging him by his hair and pulled him up so that he would face Grimmjow. The man glared at him with the same blue eyes he once so adored, but now...

 

“Tough luck, Shinigami,” Grimmjow said with a wicked grin. “Looks like you die now.” He laughed as he began charging another cero in his palm in front of Ichigo’s face. Ichigo tried to summon his mask again but failed as it broke the moment it tried to form. He heard Grimmjow scoff at his attempt and Ichigo just stared at the cero helplessly. Was he going to fail again?

 

“Time is up, Grimmjow,” a monotonous voice interrupted him. Grimmjow’s cero disappeared and he snapped his head back to the person who spoke. It was deathly pale man with a small frame, with black hair, large green eyes and green tear marks down his face with a broken warlord helmet on his head. Another Espada? But Ichigo couldn’t feel his presence at all!

 

“Ulquiorra...” Grimmjow growled under his breath. Ichigo’s eyes flicked to Grimmjow’s that were looking at the other Arrancar. _At least he seems to hate that guy more than me,_ Ichigo thought humourlessly. He weakly turned his head slightly to the small man.

 

“Aizen-sama says you have done enough. You will be punished if you do not return to Hueco Mundo now,” the pale man told him.

 

“He allowed me to come here!” Grimmjow yelled at the man called Ulquiorra.

 

“But you weren’t allowed to kill him,” Ulquiorra replied. His large eyes glanced at Ichigo who was too weak to even move. He was losing blood again, and the new guy’s reiatsu was pinning him down effortlessly. He remembered the ranks Urahara had mentioned about the Espada and wondered what the rank of this small man was. But what was he talking about? Grimmjow wasn’t allowed to kill him? “...Not yet,” the Arrancar added. Ichigo could hear Grimmjow snarling. After a moment he finally released his hold on Ichigo and let the Shinigami fall to the floor.

 

Both Arrancar walked away from him, and Ichigo could only manage to support himself on his forearms as he yelled out to them. “Where the hell are you going?!”

 

“You’re fucking lucky, Shinigami,” Grimmjow said to him as a Garganta opened up above them and yellow light fell upon them. The two began to ascend towards it. Ichigo stared wide eyed at Grimmjow, despair beginning to sink in as he realized he’d failed again. The man just stared back at him, the look of his eyes still cold and hateful, but Ichigo swore he saw a moment when the Espada's eyes flashed a blank look, lips moving to mouth the words Ichigo's heart had squeezed painfully in reaction before. _I'll never forgive you._

 

“Tell the Gotei we are invading Karakura in a few days. There is no more hope for you all. You can no longer win,” the emotionless Ulquiorra told Ichigo as the ascended further up. “Aizen-sama has already planned for his victory.”

 

With that, the two disappeared into the portal and Ichigo was left alone, bleeding out in a half-destroyed building. He then felt something lifted and almost immediately, Urahara and Yoruichi appeared by him.

  
“Ichigo! Hang on!” Yoruichi began to move him while Urahara looked extremely worried and anxious. Half-carrying Ichigo, both Yoruichi and Urahara flash stepped towards the latter’s shop. On their way, Urahara explained himself.

 

“I apologize, Kurosaki-san. We headed towards you when we felt the presence of Arrancar. They are definitely Espada level,” Urahara began. “But when we reached here, we couldn’t see you and we noticed that there was some sort of barrier we’ve never seen before. I couldn’t crack it no matter what, and it was only lifted when they left. I’m terribly sorry.” Urahara sounded sincere and he had a haggard look of guilt, and Ichigo appreciated it. He didn't want anyone to interrupt his fight with Grimmjow anyway. After what seemed like a moment’s hesitation, the shopkeeper added, “We did however, find new information involving you, Kurosaki-san.” Though something stirred inside him when he heard that, Ichigo could care less at the moment. He was just in pain and exhausted.

 

“Aizen... is invading Karakura in a few days. Inform the Gotei 13,” was all he managed to say before he slipped into unconsciousness again.

 

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 

Grimmjow had been treated for his injuries. He was sitting on a collapsed pillar, in an isolated part of Las Noches. His surroundings were open, empty with nothing but white sands, dead trees and the faux crescent moon eternally hovering over Hueco Mundo. His mind was flooded with his fight against the orange haired Shinigami earlier. _Kurosaki,_ he heard in the far back of his mind but ignored it. What the fuck did that Shinigami do to himself? A Shinigami with a Hollow mask, how fucked up was that?

 

When he fought the Shinigami, at some points Grimmjow wasn’t aware of himself. At certain moments, he felt like he said something. It wasn’t clear, but he felt his jaw move, and every time he said those words that he couldn’t hear the Shinigami would look so vulnerable. He hung his head low and screwed his eyes shut. He searched his mind to remember every dream he had. All the memories that he could piece together from those dreams told him that he was human, a mechanic, and had a life as bad as he was when he was an adjuchas. Fighting at almost every moment of his life, fending off hollows and human bullies alike. How ironic, to live the same sort of life twice. As for the orange haired Shinigami? Nothing but mere flashes of an image of him.

 

Grimmjow buried his face in his hands and searched his mind again. _Remember, dammit,_ Grimmjow thought angrily, _Remember so that I can get it out of my head!_ He closed his eyes and thought harder. This time, his mind answered him, flooding his mind with a memory.

 

It was the Shinigami again. It wasn’t just a split second flash of him, but it was really Kurosaki Ichigo, in black robes and monstrous cleaver-like zanpakutou strapped to his back, standing in front of Grimmjow. Grimmjow realized that he was crouching in front of a car, like he supposed he usually did in his previous life. But Grimmjow looked away and focused on the vehicle, and began doing whatever he was doing as he listened hard to the murmurings to his side.

 

“Grimmjow,” he heard the Shinigami call. The way he said it was laced with familiarity and something foreign to the man. “So you’re a foreign mixed blood?” the younger man asked while Grimmjow watched his arms work on the car in front of him. “I guess that explains the name.” Were they this close? How did they know him? Why?  He half-heard the rest of conversation, apparently about names, and then he heard himself speak, asking why the Shinigami’s name was Ichigo. If he heard right, it was about protection. How befitting, Grimmjow had thought.

 

 “And what’s that one thing you’re protecting?” He didn’t look at the Shinigami, but from the silence and sudden awkward atmosphere, Grimmjow knew the answer easily. The Shinigami was so damned easy to read.

 

“I don’t know,” he heard him say. _What a poor liar_.

 

Grimmjow snapped from his little day dream when he felt someone’s presence in the area. He looked down from the pillar he was sitting on and saw a black-haired figure.

 

“We have another meeting Grimmjow,” Ulquiorra told him in a reasonably audible voice despite the distance. Grimmjow grunted in reply, and the pale man walked away. The blue-haired Arrancar jumped down and landed on his feet easily, as he followed the retreating figure. Now he knew why the Shinigami was so different around him. But what about him towards the Shinigami? But then again, did it matter _?_ It hadn’t changed the way he felt every time he saw the Shingami. Even thinking about his face, it still made Grimmjow insane with the need and that accompanying feeling of vengeance to destroy something, particularly that Shinigami’s face. _Kurosaki,_ he thought again. _Next time I see you, I’ll fucking kill you._

He just kept repeating those words in his head - _I’ll kill you_ \- as if he was consciously denying the certain feeling that was now seeping slowly into his chest.

**\-------------------- Part 6 end --------------------**


	7. The Future

“So what did you find out about me?” Ichigo asked when Tessai was done patching him up with some healing kido. Urahara glanced at Yoruichi who nodded her head in response. All three of his mentors (he guessed Tessai was one of them, since occasionally he did give some advice) sat across him in the guest room of Urahara’ shop as Ichigo waited impatiently for any of them to say something.

“Well Kurosaki-san... do you remember anything from before you applied to the Shinigami Academy?” Urahara asked. Ichigo blinked at him with a frown marring his features. Urahara dipped his head slightly at the look and continued. “Do you remember your father, Kurosaki Isshin?” Ichigo’s frown deepened and he looked downwards, as if sinking into his thoughts.

“I don’t remember having a father,” Ichigo said truthfully. 

“Kurosaki Isshin was – or still is – a member of the Zero Squad, which is better known as the Royal Guards,” Yoruichi told him. “We don’t know whether he’s still alive or not. All members of the Royal Guards are shrouded under secrecy. No one except for a selected few in Soul Society is able to reach them.”

“Okay,” Ichigo said slowly and waited for them to carry on.

“He didn’t have a son, but he took one in,” Urahara said. “And that son is you, Kurosaki-san.”

“Okay...” Ichigo repeated. He wasn’t sure what to say. Was that man in his dream his foster father? The Kurosaki Isshin whom they said is a member of the Royal Guards? “So what happened when he took me in?”

“You tell us,” Urahara replied. “We don’t know how he raised you after he took you in. It was reported that there was a need to bring in a person who was releasing a large amount of uncontrolled reiatsu at that time and that in the logs, he went to Rukongai. The reports also said nobody brought anyone in, even though the release of reiatsu stopped as if the person had disappeared. Either nobody bothered to check afterwards, or it was covered up.”

“Why would he do that?” Ichigo asked. He thought over it again. He couldn’t remember anything. Urahara shrugged.

“Because he wanted to keep you a secret,” someone said. Shinji stepped into the room gingerly, dressed in his usual shirt, tie and newspaper boy cap. 

“Ah, good to see you Hirako-san,” Urahara greeted with a sly smile. “We were waiting for you. You were, after all, a friend of Kurosaki Isshin.”

“You were?” Ichigo’s head snapped to the Vizard who joined the rest of his mentors and sat across him as well. Shinji gave him his wide grin and took off his cap.

“Yes, issit that surprising, Ichigo?” Shinji asked him. Ichigo just frowned at him. “Two hundred years ago, before we were hollowfied and you were even born in Soul Society, Isshin was already a member of the Zero Squad. He was just one of those that couldn’t keep still and walk around, ya know? Had to hang out with his buddies once in a while. Unbelievable to know such an irresponsible guy like him ta be a Royal Guard.” Shinji chuckled at the memory, but Ichigo was mentally urging him to go on.

“I noticed a few times though, that Isshin was distracted. A little out of it, like he had his head in the clouds or somethin’,” Shinji continued, but this time unsmiling. “Like he was in love.”

“Why would that be strange?” Ichigo cut in.

“Don’t interrupt, I’m getting to it,” Shinji chided and Ichigo shut up, though he was glaring at Shinji in annoyance. “He wasn’t in love with anyone in Sereitei, Rukongai, or anywhere else in the whole of Soul Society. He was in love with a human woman.” Ichigo felt his breath stop for a moment. That sounded much like him. Like father like son, he thought. Shinji went on. “He didn’t tell me about it, I pretty much figured it out when I noticed he had been gone a lot, and I knew it was to the Human World. Confronted him about it, and he told me the rest.”

“She was a human woman, a single mother with a young son. Her name was Masaki. I don’t know whether they made contact or anythin’, but Isshin loved both her and her son. That was more or less two centuries ago. And then one day, Isshin told me, both of them died in a Hollow attack. I’ve never seen the man so distraught,” Shinji recounted, and now his face looked pained, living in the memory. “He managed to get there to kill the Hollow before it got the chance to eat their souls, but he was too late. They already died from their injuries. The thing is, there’s no such thing as humans getting attacked by Hollows, unless they had a high amount of reiatsu in ‘em.” Ichigo’s mind reeled back.

That sounded similar to Grimmjow’s case. 

“Isshin mourned for a long time. More than fifty years to be exact. And then, suddenly we got a report of someone with an unusually high reiatsu wandering around in Rukongai,” Shinji said. Ichigo swallowed hard after realizing where the story was going. “By then, Aizen had become my lieutenant – yes he was my lieutenant, don’t gimme that look, Ichigo – and volunteered to look for him. Isshin wanted to, but it wasn’t a job for a Zero Squad member, and so he went to look for that someone secretly.” Shinji paused for dramatic reasons and eyed Ichigo with his usual Cheshire cat grin. “I don’t think ya need me to tell ya who that person in Rukongai was.”

Ichigo nodded, feeling a little strange to know of his roots. So he was a human that had a lot reiatsu. Did that mean...? “Aizen caught wind of it, and as we all know now, that bastard already got it all planned. We’re not sure of it, but he might have been interested in the report about ya in Rukongai.”

“When Soul Society investigated the Central 46 Chambers incident and the library records, they had found that in some of the activity history, Aizen had looked up on humans with coloured reiraku as well,” Urahara added.

“Are you saying that I was a human with coloured reiraku?” Ichigo still asked in disbelief despite knowing the answer. All of them looked at him with a look that was either of pity or just sad. 

“Didn’t expect you to be that slow, Ichigo,” Yoruichi said. She smiled at him though, stood up and summoned a reiraku search. “Nobody can look at their own reiraku when doing a search, so you probably had never seen yours. We just found out about yours when we were looking for you earlier when you were fighting the Espada.” Yoruichi grabbed one among all the threads and Ichigo’s eyes widened as he stared at the one in her hand. It was orange, and the other end was connected to him. The hair on the back of his neck stood on ends as Yoruichi handled the thread, and the feeling disappeared when she dismissed it.

“So... does that mean Aizen’s targeting me too?” Ichigo asked again.

“Don’t know. Nobody except Isshin and I knew about ya,” Shinji replied with crossed arms. “He might’ve been looking for that reported person, but when ya applied to the Academy... well we don’t know whether Aizen could tell from there.”

“I don’t remember my father or anything before the Academy,” Ichigo said. “But I think... he blocked my memory or something for some reason.” Urahara raised a brow.

“Memory block? That shouldn’t be a problem for me,” Urahara said with a grin. “Now that we know what you are, we better find a way to get access to the amount of reiatsu you have. Perhaps unlocking memories would give you some clues to get to that power?”Ichigo shrugged. He was feeling a little overwhelmed by all the information. He was just like Grimmjow, but was fortunate enough to not have gotten his soul eaten by a Hollow. His foster father managed to get there in time, but for Grimmjow's case, Ichigo didn’t, and now Grimmjow was a Hollow, an Arrancar, and an Espada. A repeated cycle that went wrong.

“Alright then, let’s get to work! I’m sure Hirako wouldn’t mind resuming your training as soon as possible,” Yoruichi announced. “As for me, I’ll keep checking back on Soul Society.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rukia and Renji visited Ichigo after they heard about his fight. They had also heard news about the Arrancar about to invade the town soon and wanted to visit it before the possibility of seeing it destroyed. It too had become a special place for them since they visited it so often to see Ichigo.

“Yo, Ichigo! We’re here to visit you!” Renji called from outside Urahara’s shop. The sliding door opened and Urahara waved to them.

“Hello you two! How nice to see you again! Kurosaki-san’s busy training now,” the shopkeeper said.

“We know, but can’t we see him at least? We’ve heard about the battle, and that Karakura will be invaded in a few days so we’d at least like to talk to him,” Rukia said.

“I understand, but Ichigo’s not exactly in a state we can disturb him in… But I don’t mind if you’d like to wait for him?”

“Yes please,” Rukia told him. The both of them walked in and seated themselves in the guest room. Ururu served them tea while Jinta made faces at Renji, and Tessai sat in the room with them beside Urahara.

“Um, Urahara-san, can you tell us what kind of training Ichigo is doing for him to keep it so secret?” Renji asked.

“Shouldn’t you wait for Kurosaki-san to tell you himself?” the shopkeeper said behind his paper fan. Renji nodded awkwardly. “Kurosaki-san should be done soon.” 

In the meantime, Ichigo was still going through training. It had been two days since the fight with Grimmjow, and there hasn’t been much progress. Shinji had been trying to get him to reach the deepest recesses of his mind to pull out that power he’d been storing, but failed. They made up for it by physical training, but it could only do so much. Shinji had Ichigo sit down and meditate as often and long as he could. His Zanpakutou spirit should know where the power was stored, Shinji told him, but whenever he tried to contact Zangetsu, the older spirit appeared to be out of reach and often had to face his Hollow instead.

Finally, after one day gone to waste from no contact, Ichigo finally saw Zangetsu, standing further away from him in his Inner World. That itself was unusual. Ichigo walked towards him and called out for him, “Zangetsu-ossan!” The spirit made no movement to acknowledge his calling, but as Ichigo got closer, he saw that his Hollow was taking form before him again. Ichigo had his sword at the ready and was just in time to parry the attack that came immediately as the Hollow took on its full shape. 

“How ya doing, aibou?” the white creature asked.

“Tsk, get out of the way, Hollow! I need to talk to Zangetsu!”

“Zangetsu doesn’t want to talk to you,” the Hollow said.

“What’re you talking about?”

“We know what you want, but you can’t have it,” his Hollow told him. “Not until you show you’re worthy of it.”

“Stop with the crap and tell me what you’re talking about!”

“Ichigo,” Zangetsu spoke. His voice was clear and almost echo-like, even though he was still quite far from him. Ichigo could tell that his eyes were on him despite the distance. “You’re not ready yet.”

“What do you mean? There’s no time, old man!” Ichigo said. There wasn’t any; the battle was coming sooner than he’d like to think, but he had yet to gain enough strength to defeat Aizen.

“There isn’t time, so does that not mean you must ready yourself?”

“I am ready!”

“You’re not,” the Hollow said, beginning to sound bored.

“Bullshit, I am-”

“You’re still distracted, still scared,” Zangetsu continued. “You still harbouring the feelings of guilt, and the more you fight him, the more the guilt and hurt grows. You still don’t want to cleanse him. And you’re scared that you won’t be able to defeat Aizen, especially since he has the Hougyoku.”

“I-!” Ichigo was speechless at that. He stared at the floor. He felt Zangetsu sigh at his resignation.

“Come back when you’re really ready, Ichigo,” the Hollow told him with a nasty smirk and pushed him off a cliff – the edge of a building – he didn’t know existed. Ichigo let himself fall and awoke from his meditation with a start, his heart thumping hard. Shinji was standing in front of him, observing silently.

“From the look of your face, I take it that you didn't succeed,” Shinji said. Ichigo shrugged as he stood up, scowl on his face as he wiped the cold sweat off his brow. He began to walk to the exit.

“Zangetsu told me I’m not ready yet,” Ichigo muttered.

“Ya think so?” Shinji asked, though Ichigo couldn’t tell whether he was being sarcastic or not. He just continued walking without answering, feeling defeated. He decided to return to Urahara’s shop to rest for the day.

He was pleasantly surprised however, to find Renji and Rukia waiting for him.

“Ichigo!” the both of them stood up and went to him. It had felt like months since they last saw each other, but it had only been a week or two at most. Nevertheless, he missed his friends’ company. “How have you been?”

“Tired,” Ichigo complained. “…And unproductive.” He sighed and sat down. The other two noticed he was feeling low. This wasn’t the Ichigo they knew – loud, brash, impulsive and reckless. Though he could be broody when he wanted to, which was becoming increasingly often.

“What happened?” Rukia asked, as gently as she could. The both of them sat down with him.

“Another battle with Grimmjow,” Ichigo said. “I could see it in his eyes. He really wanted to kill me.” He felt his face scrunch up, feeling the hurt in his chest. He took in a deep breath. “I told myself over and over again, just kill him, cleanse him, and get over with it. But guess what? Even after getting new power that’d probably get me executed or exiled from Soul Society, I couldn’t even hurt him! I just can’t do it, I can’t kill him, I've already killed him once – I just… I just can’t do it, I’m pathetic!”

“Whoa, slow down Ichigo, what’s this about getting executed?” Renji asked looking nervous.

“Are you talking about your secret training?” Rukia asked as well. 

Ichigo looked at the both of them, meeting their eyes. “Yeah. I’ll tell you guys now… I… I went through Hollowfication.”

“You what?!” Renji sounded shocked but confused. The word ‘hollow’ was already enough to send his alarms ringing. 

“Hollowfication,” Ichigo repeated and trying to keep his voice as emotionless as possible. “It’s a process you go through to become a Hollow.”

Rukia gasped and looked disturbed, while Renji looked enraged, disappointed even. “You didn’t!”

“I had to, I needed it. It’s the only way I can get more power,” Ichigo tried to explain, but Renji wasn’t listening.

“That Urahara put you up with it didn’t he?! That son of a…” Rukia elbowed Renji in the gut, cutting him short and glared at him.

“Quiet, Renji! Listen to Ichigo’s reasons. We said we’d trust him, didn’t we?” the small woman scolded. Renji just grumbled but nodded and Ichigo was grateful for her presence, smiling at her thankfully.

“Thanks, Rukia. I did it to gain power. It was a stupid idea, but it worked. Sort of. It’s safe enough, since there are already people like me before, and they’re seriously strong. I want to reach that level, maybe even higher,” Ichigo stared at the floor nervously.

“There are already people like you? You mean Shinigami with Hollow powers?” Rukia asked. He nodded.

“Eight of them. They used to be captains for the Gotei.”

“What happened for them to…” Rukia looked at Ichigo, wide-eyed, and knew the answer. “Aizen?”

“He made them his experiments. It wasn’t stable back then, they could have died,” Ichigo replied grimly. “Urahara saved them.”

“That’s sick…” Renji muttered.

“Go on,” Rukia nudged. “We want to hear your reasons, anything. I know you’ve been wanting to tell us too.” Ichigo gave a small smile.

“I did get the power but I still need more time. I have to keep training, keep fighting myself to keep my power,” Ichigo decided against telling them about his inner Hollow, especially from Renji. They might not like the idea. People are always afraid of what they don't understand. “I keep asking myself, why do I fight? And then I think about him, and all I feel is guilt. I want to help him, but if helping him means hurting him, I can’t do it.”

Rukia looked at him sympathetically. Renji’s expression had softened too.

“You can, Ichigo, I know you can,” Rukia said. “You have always had great power. You just have to believe in yourself, because we do. All the other people in the Gotei do. Think about everyone who’s been by your side – the captains, us, Urahara – we’ll be there to back you up, Ichigo. When we need you, you protect us. But don’t forget, when you need us, we will be there for you too. We’ll protect you, I promise.”

The last phrase reminded Ichigo of the promise he’d broken with Grimmjow. But trust works both ways. He’d never fail to trust his friends. He smiled at the both of them.

“Well about that great power… there’s an explanation for that…” Ichigo started. “It’s a long story though.”

The other two looked at each other and then back to him. “We’ve got all the time for today, Ichigo, so we’d like to hear it,” Renji said. Ichigo scratched the back of his head and took a breath. He began to tell them what he had found out about his past. He only told them that he was a human with coloured reiraku, just like Grimmjow, but withheld some information like about his father. He then explained to them about Aizen’s plan from the beginning. By the end of the story, Rukia and Renji looked a bit lost.

“Wow,” was the only thing Renji could say. “Aizen’s a long-term planner isn’t he?”

“I guess so,” Ichigo gave a barely amused smirk.

“But you do have great power, so I’m sure you’re capable of defeating Aizen,” Rukia assured. “We’ll help you, everyone will.”

“But I’m not ready yet. Zangetsu won’t lead me to this power I have unless I’m ready. Unless I’m free of distractions and insecurity,” Ichigo told them.

“That’s why I keep telling you Ichigo,” Rukia said almost exasperatedly. “We’re here for you. We all believe in you, so you must believe in yourself or it’ll all go to waste, won’t it?” Ichigo tried to nod, but he knew it would still be difficult.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grimmjow was still being haunted by dreams. 

This time, he kept reliving his own death. He hated feeling so weak, to be killed by mere low-intelligence Hollows. But the pain – he writhed in agony as his dreams repeated the pain he had encountered then. He could feel every bit of his soul being ripped to shreds, eaten, separated, and devoured by the monsters. He remembered fighting back so hard and violently he practically destroyed the area around him. And the ironic thing was that he’d remember seeing a vision of the shinigami smiling at him right after that. 

He knew ever since the previous dream that he and the shinigami had some kind of platonic relationship at the very least. Whatever it was, it was mutual, it was close, but there was this anger that he himself didn’t know where it was coming from. What was it? What made him feel like tearing the shinigami to shreds just as the Hollows had done to him? This obsession was going wrong. What feelings does he have for the shinigami now? Love? Hate? It was a mix; every time his face appears in his head, Grimmjow felt a faint feeling of attraction, but there was that rage as well. A feeling that felt awfully close to betrayal. 

Without knowing the answer, the painful dreams repeated themselves whenever he slept, and sometimes even when he just stared off into space. What was it that he needed to remember?! He felt like going insane, as he relived the torture over and over. 

I’ll protect you, someone said in his mind after what seemed like an endless repetition of nightmares. Who was that? The voice sounded like... 

Grimmjow burst out laughing suddenly, in a harsh, low cackle that sounded unpleasant and threatening. He couldn't stop himself even as he buried his face in his hands, but the sound of his laughter continued, spilling out of his throat like bile. He laughed until his throat went dry and sore, until he was gasping for breath.

“I’ll protect you, he said! What a load of bull!” He laughed again despite the ache in his throat and chest, his eyes tearing. It seemed to go on for minutes, until he finally shot out a cero that destroyed the entire pillar and creating a small sand storm before him. 

Grimmjow stopped laughing entirely. The laughter had bubbled into a scream of rage.

He stood up and returned indoors, his body itching to fight, kill, destroy.

What part of getting ripped apart is ‘protecting’? Kurosaki had left him there to die.

And he will pay for it.


End file.
